Some Random Rants

Since I have been sick like crazy because it is colder than a witches tit (what does that mean anyway?) in my office, I have decided to lay down some quick rants that have been bothering me lately.

1. Bathroom Attendants: Who signs up for this job on purpose? I can't imagine someone saying to themselves that this is what they want to be when they grow up. First of all I dread going to a place that has one. For me bathroom time is personal, and if I deign to go in a public area, at least let's keep the anonymity shall we. I hate going to the bathroom needing to do unladylike business with someone clocking my every move. Please. I don't need you to hear me pass gas, or drop a deuce, and then have to look you in the eye while you pump soap into my hand and turn on the water for me. I hate it even more when you expect a tip for that. Leave me be.

2. Warm Weather Hoochies: Yes it was warm here in NYC for a few days, but really? Really? Do the Daisy Duke shorts need to come out already? It barely grazed 70 degrees, and I saw tricks wearing short shorts and tank tops like it was over 100 degrees. Maybe I'm hating a bit because I would never wear clothes like that in 100 degree weather anyway, or that Dirty was on ass patrol since we saw the first girl with crotch huggers on rollerblades no less.

3. Sidekick and Work: Can't leave this out. After being promised a raise and promotion from Sidekick since Penny left, I have had an important meeting with her saying that everything is on a hiring freeze, i.e. no raises or promotions, and that she hates to do this, blah, blah, blah. Since we all know that she is full of garbage, and actually takes pleasure in screwing people (except for her husband. Ohhhhhh snap), and know that I will never get what I want from here, I have been taking a page from her book and working from home on a few occasions and using up my sick and personal time while quietly going on interviews. So far I have some good prospects, but nothing concrete, but I'm thinking positive.

4. Crackies Upstairs: Ain't this a bitch? One of the crackies that live upstairs actually came down to my apartment while I was home from work one day to ask me why I complained to the maintenance department that my ceiling was leaking. That crackie was so lucky that I wasn't at 100 percent. I simply told him that disease infested water raining down on me was not my idea of cleansing myself. Since he is such a simpleton, it took him a minute to unravel my verbal ninja skillz and apologized and went on his way. By the way, somehow the Department of Buildings came the same day that I was off and checked the apartment upstairs. "Patty" called me to say that they will be re-doing my bathroom this weekend, and that I need to select the fixtures that I want. Do you think that my ass deserves to sit on a $800 bowl? I do. Jacuzzi tub? Can't live without it. Eat me maintenance corp. You owe me.