Taking a Break

Can I just say WOW? Life is funny and sometimes I feel like I am in the middle of a really bad 80's movie. It has been a week since my trip, but I still feel all discombobulated. Dirty and I got alone great on our trip, (except for me demanding to be taken to the airport), so it shocked the hell out of me when after a few little tiffs here and there, he tells me he wants to take a break.

I know, WTF???? Since we have gotten home, he has been pretty distant. I mean we still do things together, but I was feeling some disconnect. Any time I asked him what was wrong, he said nothing. The kicker came when I was trying to be all lovey- dovey and was rejected... on 3 separate occasions. So needless to say that that really did a number on my self-esteem. To add insult to injury, I was getting my period, so my confidence was shot to begin with. Then he tells me that he thinks that we should take a break and that he made plans for this weekend, when will be heading to Boston to hang out with his douchebag friend who I hate. You know that guy, every guy has that friend, the strip-club loving, drunk ass, walking STD.

So I have been very snippy lately with him. What aggravates me most of all is that he will play the dumb game... like "why are you upset?" So yesterday we went to go see my niece and give my bro and sil some gifts we bought for them. When we got there Dirty was all about the baby, holding her, feeding her, etc. In the car ride home later, he tells me that he is ready to have a baby. Cue record scratch. Jigga What? A child? So I asked him who he had selected as his baby mama. Bitchy? Sure. So you can imagine my surprise when less than 24 hours after telling me he needs a break, he is asking me to incubate a child for him.* That's when the backpedaling began. The funny thing is that for someone who claims not to want to get married or have kids, he certainly talks about it. A LOT.

Right now, I don't know where we stand. He has been calling me non-stop and sending me stupid text messages. I have avoided all of the cell calls, but the fucker keeps calling my work phone, and since this place is so ghetto I don't have caller ID, so I can avoid those calls too. If he wants a break, he's getting one.

Now excuse me, I need to answer another 50 phone calls from my alleged boyfriend who wants to take a break.


****UPDATE:

So I am reading my girl Penny's blog, and she is going through the same mess with Cakes. We are living parallel lives, yo.



* P.S. The key to my uterus is diamond encrusted; at least 2 1/2 carats.

Hardcore Drugs, Milk in a Bag, and a Hammock on the Beach

I'm back.

Let me preface this entry by saying that South America should be on everyones places to visit list. The people and locations are stunning. So here is the brief rundown of my trip.

I'll start with the worst plane ride in the world. We flew TAM Airlines, which is a decent airline, however, when you are congested and sick is torture. The smell of the food made me nauseous, and I usually love airplane food. (I'm weird, I know), there was a baby that cried for 9 hours straight. How do I know? Well apparently the miracle drugs that my doctor prescribed to me didn't knock me out, on the contrary, I was awake for 4 days. (I'll get to that later).

We got to Uruguay, and it was POURING rain. Apparently before we got there, it rained for 12 days straight. Needless to say Sloane was not a happy camper. Dirty's cousin lives in the country. I'm talking sheep, and chickens here. I couldn't sleep in the house and it came to the point where I was counting down the minutes to hear the roosters crowing. I was so frustrated that Dirty was able to sleep that I would wake him up constantly and we got into such nasty fights, culminating in me demanding him to take me to that airport so I can come home. Two days later he took me to a 4 star hotel, to make up for that. Let me say that the house in the country is really nice when the sun is shining, in the rain it is torture.

From the hotel in Montevideo we went to Colonia del Sacramento. It is a small town on the coast that was settled by the Portuguese. We went to all of the museums and eventually I will post pictures. I am trying to get Dirty to make a video that we can load onto You Tube. From Colonia we took the Buquebus Ferry to Buenos Aires, Argentina. Spent 2 days in and around Buenos Aires, and actually, this was the most boring part of our trip, so we left early. I wasn't interested in a seeing the South American version of NYC.

From Argentina, another ferry back to Montevideo, where we went back to that same hotel, The Oxford, and started to plan our trip to Brazil. At this point the sun was in full force and I was itching for the beach. So we decided to switch plans again for Brazil and spend a week in 2 different small towns on the coast of Uruguay. Cuchilla Alta and Punta del Diablo. Really nice beaches, although the water is a bit cold, and is not crystal clear like in the Caribbean, because it is on the Atlantic Ocean side. Who cares, we rented a house that had two hammocks facing the water and stayed in Cuchilla Alta for a week. A 2 day side trip to Punta del Diablo was really nice as well. I didn't get sunburned, and honestly you cannot even tell that I went away. I was cray-zay paranoid with the sunscreen.

We spent the rest of our time exploring parts of Uruguay, and we spent the last 3 days of our trip in Sao Paolo, Brazil, where we took off for home.

Most of the locations on the trip reminded me very much of small towns in Italy and they still have that quaintness and charm. The people there are gems, and they will literally give you the shirt off their backs. Some of the things that I really couldn't get used to were the bathrooms, which were very minimal. Toilet, bidet, shower head. That's right, no tub or barrier between the shower and rest of the bathroom. Weird. The only place that had a shower door was the hotel in Montevideo. Another thing that was strange, all liquid dairy products come in plastic bags. Milk, cream, yogurt. All of the houses have these plastic pitchers that they put the bag into. Like cut a hole in the bag and drop it in.

The start of the trip was a little rough, but at the end, I didn't want to leave. And for those who care, Dirty did not propose. Sorry Penny.