Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Jumping on the Bandwagon

Since I see everyone else with cool stuff on their blog, I thought that I would copy-cat and get a twitter account. Now you don't have to wait for a boring blog post! You can see all the trite and mundane things I do in real time! Awesome!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Some Random Rants

Since I have been sick like crazy because it is colder than a witches tit (what does that mean anyway?) in my office, I have decided to lay down some quick rants that have been bothering me lately.

1. Bathroom Attendants: Who signs up for this job on purpose? I can't imagine someone saying to themselves that this is what they want to be when they grow up. First of all I dread going to a place that has one. For me bathroom time is personal, and if I deign to go in a public area, at least let's keep the anonymity shall we. I hate going to the bathroom needing to do unladylike business with someone clocking my every move. Please. I don't need you to hear me pass gas, or drop a deuce, and then have to look you in the eye while you pump soap into my hand and turn on the water for me. I hate it even more when you expect a tip for that. Leave me be.

2. Warm Weather Hoochies: Yes it was warm here in NYC for a few days, but really? Really? Do the Daisy Duke shorts need to come out already? It barely grazed 70 degrees, and I saw tricks wearing short shorts and tank tops like it was over 100 degrees. Maybe I'm hating a bit because I would never wear clothes like that in 100 degree weather anyway, or that Dirty was on ass patrol since we saw the first girl with crotch huggers on rollerblades no less.

3. Sidekick and Work: Can't leave this out. After being promised a raise and promotion from Sidekick since Penny left, I have had an important meeting with her saying that everything is on a hiring freeze, i.e. no raises or promotions, and that she hates to do this, blah, blah, blah. Since we all know that she is full of garbage, and actually takes pleasure in screwing people (except for her husband. Ohhhhhh snap), and know that I will never get what I want from here, I have been taking a page from her book and working from home on a few occasions and using up my sick and personal time while quietly going on interviews. So far I have some good prospects, but nothing concrete, but I'm thinking positive.

4. Crackies Upstairs: Ain't this a bitch? One of the crackies that live upstairs actually came down to my apartment while I was home from work one day to ask me why I complained to the maintenance department that my ceiling was leaking. That crackie was so lucky that I wasn't at 100 percent. I simply told him that disease infested water raining down on me was not my idea of cleansing myself. Since he is such a simpleton, it took him a minute to unravel my verbal ninja skillz and apologized and went on his way. By the way, somehow the Department of Buildings came the same day that I was off and checked the apartment upstairs. "Patty" called me to say that they will be re-doing my bathroom this weekend, and that I need to select the fixtures that I want. Do you think that my ass deserves to sit on a $800 bowl? I do. Jacuzzi tub? Can't live without it. Eat me maintenance corp. You owe me.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Photos from Uruguay

Here are some of the pictures from my trip. Dirty made a video that I am trying to upload to You Tube, but F them, it is not working.

Another bunch of photos are on my Flickr account here. I am unable to post most of them so I picked the best ones.

View from the hotel room

Sunset on the farm

Ducks in a row. Notice how the color changes from bright white to grey. They always walked in that order.
Room Service at the hotel, Eating on the balcony.

Me on the beach. Dirty took this picture from the deck of the house we rented.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I've Been Tagged!

There is a first time for everything, and this is the first time I have been tagged. So here goes.

1. Each blogger answers the questions about themselves.

2. Then tag five people. Make sure to let them know!

What I was doing 10 years ago - (1998):

I was 21 and getting ready to graduate from college (yikes, I’m old) and ready to enter the real world. Was working as a nanny, because we all know that a sociology degree doesn’t get you far, until the lady that I worked for got me a job at the hospital she worked in.

Five things on my to-do list today:

1. Call Patty in the Maintenance Office and scream about my bathroom ceiling. That is leaking. Again.
2. Take my clothes to the laundry.
3. Sign up for the Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer.
4. Buy my niece a gift for her christening.
5. Look up some recipes on the internet to add to my repertoire. I am sick of cooking and eating the same things.

Five Snacks I enjoy:

1. Beets—Straight from the can!
2. String cheese
3. French fries
4. hummus/pita
5. clementines

Five Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

1. Quit my job—kiss my ass Sidekick!
2. New Wardrobe-Personal Shopper!
3. Big house with huge outdoor kitchen.
4. Summer home on water with boat (even though I cannot swim)
5. Travel like it IS my job5. Personal haircare team.

Five of my bad habits:

1. Leaving wet towels on the bed
2. Not hanging up my clothes
3. selfish
4. curse like a sailor
5. lazy, lazy, lazy

Five places I have lived:

1. NYC
2. NYC
3. NYC
4. Florence, Italy
5. NYC

Five jobs I’ve had:

1. GAPKids, back in the day
2. Nanny
3. Administrative Assistant
4. CRC
5. Next career move unkown

What I’d like to be doing in 25 years:

56 years old. Hopefully retired, sipping a mojito, laying in a hammock reading a book facing the water in my vacation house.


I'm not tagging anyone. Everyone I know already got this.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Eff You, You Effin Effers

Do you ever get the urge to just scream at the top of your lungs? Well I totally feel that way today.

My bathroom ceiling is leaking again. This is the count it 3rd time this has happened. I don't know if I posted it here before, but I live below a bunch of crackheads that make so much noise. Apparently during a drunken binge one night one of the crackies decided to take a bath and ran the water... and passed out. Needless to say that when I woke up the next morning and it was RAINING in my bathroom I was not happy. It was fixed. Fast forward less than a month later, it happens again, except for the raining part. This time, I get huge water bubbles on the ceiling and wall. I call the maintenance department and they come right over to fix it. Apparently, they cannot find the source of this leak. Hmmm. Anyway, I go on my trip and come back to THE SAME FUCKING THING!!!! Now, I have been more than understanding about this situation and that shit happens, but 3 times within the past 4 months?? I don't think so.

I called the maintenance office and ripped "Patty" a new one. She started defending the crackies to me. Um, no, bitch. I am the one being inconvenienced when a bubble pops like a pimple and spills crack infested germy water on my tub, sink and floor. So I dig deep and find out that they RENT their apartment through the Section 8 program. Say what? I am paying almost 2 grand a month in mortgage and maintenance to live underneath some welfare recipients that can't even remember to turn the water off after they finish allegedly bathing? Oh No.

So I may have called the Department of Buildings to have them come and inspect the above apartment to see how many crackies live there and hopefully get them evicted. Oops, did I just say that out loud? My bad.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

What Do You Think?

I was devastated (OK, not really) when I lost my other blog template. I LOVED the hot pink with turquoise, but I looked long and hard (OK, not really) and found this one. I also figured out how to do HTML in less than 2 hours. I rock. Pffft, and these people want me to actually WORK at work. Hmpf.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Take a Break Update-- The TMI Edition

Let me set the stage for this drama:

The infamous "let's take a break" weekend was over and I started to feel a little sick, you know kind of nauseous, and had a really hard time going to the bathroom. Dirty was feeling the same way, and decided to go to his Dr. I decided to get to the gyno, just in case, it felt like a UTI or yeast infection to me.

While I am driving to the gyno, I get a call from Dirty telling me to get checked for STD's. Say what? I am all for safety, but the way that he told me was super sketchy. So I asked him if there was something that he needed to tell me, i.e. that he was banging someone on the side. He denied it, and asked me if I had someone on the side. I decided not to dignify that with an answer, since we all know that the answer is no. The whole situation was surreal and I am lucky that I didn't crash my car into anything. Seriously, in the space of less than one week, my perfect relationship seemed as if it was spinning straight into the crapper. The story is much more long and drawn out, but you get the gist.

Fast forward two days: My gyno put me on antibiotics (UTI) after all, and I got super sick from them. Vomiting, fever, runs. You name it, I got it. When Dirty heard that I was sick, (you know, after taking the 100 "break" phone calls), he came to my house and picked me up. He took really good care of me, feeding me, and at one point threw me into the bathtub and sprayed me with the handheld shower head after my fever reached 104.3, and I was so delirious that I couldn't sit up straight. I put my foot down when he wanted to take me to the emergency room, because I didn't shave my legs.

So needless to say, our break was over. We had a long talk about what we expected and wanted out of this relationship, and I think that he was just feeling trapped. All of his friends are married, most of them have kids, so their lives are pretty stable; i.e. not exciting anymore. His douchebag friend has the exciting life, with the parties, clubs and different girls. Dirty's problem is that he is in limbo right now. He misses that party life, but he is happy to have it behind him; and he is not ready for the super responsibility of supporting a wife and family. So we are on the same page again, and it feels really good.

P.S.: He never went to go visit his friend because I was sick and he needed to take care of me. I think that they rescheduled, but I was happy to see that his priorities were in place.