I Want A Pony!!

I enjoy buying things for myself... I am a firm believer in treating yourself well. Since I rarely shop for frivolous things during the year, I use my birthdays, Christmas, and employment/educational milestones (promotions, graduations) to get myself "big ticket" items that I want. Why wait for someone to buy you something if you can get it for yourself?

Therefore, in anticipation of my 30th birthday, I am making a list of gifts that I have had my eyes on. I will also be taking suggestions through the comments. Please note: Vacations do not fall into this category, due to the necessity to take one at least every 6 months. Although these are in no particular order, Gucci always comes first.


1. Gucci Medium Tote -beige/sapphire blue (Sapphire is my birthstone after all)



2. Palm Treo



3. 18k White Gold Bezel-Set Diamond Stud Earrings - or similar



4. Alienware Aurora 7500

_______________ are a Girl’s Best Friend-Episode 1

I bet you thought I was going to say diamonds. Not in my world. I have "best friends" located in every section of my home, today's section will be the kitchen. You might laugh at my choices, which are not really mainstream, but I will say that I have a kitchenalia fetish, so that should explain a lot.

Cast Iron Cookware-This cookware is relatively cheap, and if you treat them well, they will last forever. There is something to be said about this cookware if every culture on the planet uses or has used some form of cast iron in its kitchens. Food tastes better cooked in one of these pans and you can use them on the stovetop, in the oven, or on a real fire. They also make a handy weapon, if you need to bash someone's brains in considering that the 12 inch skillet weighs about ten pounds empty. At minimum, one should at least have a cast iron grill pan.

Mortar and Pestle- Wherever I travel, I always look to buy a mortar and pestle. To me it is a sign, much like the cast iron cookware, that all cultures are basically similar when it comes to food and food preparation. Take out your aggression by smashing up herbs, spices and aromatics in your mortar and pestle, not only will you relieve stress, but you will also make something deliciously tasty.

Cocktail Shaker- This is self-explanatory. With one of these, a party is always within reach.

So now you know where my head is. This is in no way a complete listing, but definitely the top three things needed in any kitchen. In the upcoming posts, I will visit my other "best friends", and share them with you. Now I need to make myself a cocktail, smash some garlic, thyme, and black peppercorns and cook my steak!

Jigga What, Jigga Who?

I was in my car yesterday, minding my own business, windows rolled down, enjoying NYC in the spring, groovin' to the radio when I stopped at the longest red light in the world and saw a bunch of high school kids waiting for the bus.

Still minding my own B-I- business, a Jay-Z song came on the radio, so I turned the radio up a bit louder. All of a sudden, I hear these kids start hysterically laughing, so I looked over, and I hear one kid yell:

LOOK AT THE WHITE LADY LISTENING TO JAY-Z!!

I turned to the window and busted out laughing; let's just say that my nerdy appearance and demeanor (5 ft tall, glasses, freckles), complete with sensible automobile give off more of a easy-listening vibe.

When I was in graduate school, I worked at detention center for adolescents where my clients were mostly African American and Latino boys between 15 and 18 years old. They were shocked that I knew all of their favorite rappers and incorporated some of the songs into my counseling and group sessions. In truth, I would use music to allow these guys to express their feelings; and in doing so I was able to open their minds to other forms of music that they wouldn't have otherwise been exposed to in their situations. (Except country music. Never country music. Country music is bad, mkay?)

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes-Part Two

Now we return to our regularly scheduled post...

So BN told me that he felt sorry for me; because I would never find someone to put up with my rebellion towards conforming enough to marry me. For the record, marriage is NOT on my things to do list. I contribute that to my difficulty becoming totally invested in the relationship, and the person. (See Samantha, Sex and the City, minus the trampiness.)

Now, while I was the dumpee, during this last conversation I became vicious. I don't know why, normally I am pretty mellow. There is no excuse for my nastiness, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. Plus, I really was not concerned for his feelings, as he so obviously was not concerned with mine. So I told him that before he started dating again he should see a doctor about getting hair plugs or at the very least start using Rogaine. (To all the bald men who were offended: I only said it because BN was very self-conscious about his going bald, and I hit him were it hurt.) To show what a big baby he was, after I said it, he started criticizing me and my family about total bullshit.

I still see him sometimes, at my co-workers functions, and am always civil to him, but he plays the "asshole game", alternating between pretending that not to know me, or being all up in my face.

Lesson learned: Sometimes buying a new pair of shoes is better than getting into a new relationship. At least the shoes are guaranteed to fit.

CH-CH-CH-Changes- Part One

I was speaking with one of my married friends, who complained about one of her husband’s bad habits that drives her crazy. She went on to say that before they got married, she tried to change him a lot so that he would be more marriageable. SERIOUSLY. Her saying that reminded me of an ex-boyfriend, we’ll call him BN, who thought that he could change me into something I wasn't.

I’ll give you a little background about this relationship. I met BN at a wake for a co-worker’s parent. He did the pursuing, getting my number from the co-worker, and calling me until I agreed to meet him for coffee. I should have known from then that there was something off about him. So we met and he was a pretty cool guy, so we started dating. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and he had just gotten out of an engagement, so we were on the same page… or so I thought.

After a few months into this relationshit (™ Dane Cook), I went away on vacation to Jamaica with a few friends. This trip was planned months before I met BN; but when I told him about it he flipped out. He told me that if I went on the trip, to not count on him waiting for me when I got back. I was going to be gone for ONE WEEK!! So that was the beginning of the end. I told him that we weren’t really serious yet, we were only dating for three months, and that I WAS going on my trip and that if he didn’t like it, tough shit. He backed down, and I went on my trip. He proceeded to call the hotel every day during that week, to check up on me. I knew what he went through with his ex-fiancee; she cheated on him while she was on a trip, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

When I got back, he apologized and told me he missed me so much and that he would like to see each other exclusively. Against my better judgment, I agreed. Once I did that, he turned possessive and controlling. He never wanted to do anything with my friends, saying they were all party girls and that I should associate with a higher class of people. He wanted me to dye my hair blond, saying it would cover my six stray gray hairs better. He watched everything that I ate because I had gained a little weight, wanted me to wear my contact lenses daily and that I should call him from work at 10am, 1pm and 3pm. (No, I never did any of the things he asked me to.) Can you guess now why his ex-fiancee cheated on him?

To make a long story short, one day he took me out to dinner, told me he didn’t think this relationship was going to work out because I WAS SMOTHERING HIM!!! I laughed in his face and left him sitting like an ass in the restaurant. A week later he called me and apologized, and wanted to get back together. I told him to go fuck himself. Then he told me he felt sorry for me that I would never get married because I was not willing to compromise and change.


To be continued.