Monday, May 01, 2006

CH-CH-CH-Changes- Part One

I was speaking with one of my married friends, who complained about one of her husband’s bad habits that drives her crazy. She went on to say that before they got married, she tried to change him a lot so that he would be more marriageable. SERIOUSLY. Her saying that reminded me of an ex-boyfriend, we’ll call him BN, who thought that he could change me into something I wasn't.

I’ll give you a little background about this relationship. I met BN at a wake for a co-worker’s parent. He did the pursuing, getting my number from the co-worker, and calling me until I agreed to meet him for coffee. I should have known from then that there was something off about him. So we met and he was a pretty cool guy, so we started dating. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and he had just gotten out of an engagement, so we were on the same page… or so I thought.

After a few months into this relationshit (™ Dane Cook), I went away on vacation to Jamaica with a few friends. This trip was planned months before I met BN; but when I told him about it he flipped out. He told me that if I went on the trip, to not count on him waiting for me when I got back. I was going to be gone for ONE WEEK!! So that was the beginning of the end. I told him that we weren’t really serious yet, we were only dating for three months, and that I WAS going on my trip and that if he didn’t like it, tough shit. He backed down, and I went on my trip. He proceeded to call the hotel every day during that week, to check up on me. I knew what he went through with his ex-fiancee; she cheated on him while she was on a trip, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

When I got back, he apologized and told me he missed me so much and that he would like to see each other exclusively. Against my better judgment, I agreed. Once I did that, he turned possessive and controlling. He never wanted to do anything with my friends, saying they were all party girls and that I should associate with a higher class of people. He wanted me to dye my hair blond, saying it would cover my six stray gray hairs better. He watched everything that I ate because I had gained a little weight, wanted me to wear my contact lenses daily and that I should call him from work at 10am, 1pm and 3pm. (No, I never did any of the things he asked me to.) Can you guess now why his ex-fiancee cheated on him?

To make a long story short, one day he took me out to dinner, told me he didn’t think this relationship was going to work out because I WAS SMOTHERING HIM!!! I laughed in his face and left him sitting like an ass in the restaurant. A week later he called me and apologized, and wanted to get back together. I told him to go fuck himself. Then he told me he felt sorry for me that I would never get married because I was not willing to compromise and change.

To be continued.