Here are two pictures that I have done Andy Warhol style. The first one is my Sloane cartoon, the second is a real picture of me, somehow missing the entire middle of my face. Oh well, they still look hot. They will be even hotter printed on photo paper and hung in frames on my wall. This is my holiday gift to myself.
Since all the haters* claim that I am spoiled (see here, here, and here for evidence), an accusation which I have never denied, I am posting my Christmas list. Moreover, because my birthday was extravagant, this list is minimal. See, I am all about equality.
1. The North Face Applique Nuptse jacket 700 down fill-Black: NYC Winters are really, really cold.
2. Thai Style Mortar and Pestle: An addition to my collection of kitchen gadgets; also can be used as a handy weapon, as it probably weighs as much as I go. P.S. Size does matter in this case, bigger = better.
3. ProductRED iPod Nano: It’s time I upgrade, and what better upgrade than to an iPod in my favorite color?
So… that’s it; I think split between my family, this is nothing. Not like a $500 GPS system that my sister wants.
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*I need to retire this word in favor of something newer, but it fits my purposes today.
In an attempt to make our social service agency sound much more professional than it is, AssBoss and her Sidekick like to use proactive doubletalk that really means nothing to my logical, common sense brain. The straw that broke the camel’s back however, is the overuse of the phrase “Going Forward”. Fast forward to this morning; in my email, the following definition from Urban Dictionary*.
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I know that the past few posts have been sort of dismal, but I think that I am coming out of funk. It is the end-of year blues catching up with me. I guess it also doesn't help that every guy that I meet either has a girlfriend**, or gets a girlfriend, after I hook up with them.
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* Yes, I get the urban word of the day emailed to me…what of it? That’s why my slang game is so tight. I keep it real, yo.
**Obviously, I don't know about the girlfriend situation at the time, I find out after the fact. I don't like doing that. Although, lately, my thought is: If he doesn't care about his girlfriend, why should I? And yes, I have been cheated on in a relationship.
Usually when I am in a funk, I avoid blogging because I don’t want to wallow in my own self pity like a pig in shit. However, it has come to my attention that it would be bad form to break down and cry on the subway surrounded by strangers. Therefore, I am writing about what is happening around me in hopes that it will make me feel a bit better. I feel like a spectator on my own life wondering why I am acting like such a baby about things beyond my control.
So here is my list of why I am depressed:
1. I lost another apartment that I bid on. That makes 2. I know that when it is meant to be, it will happen, but it is seriously aggravating me that I keep looking, and cannot find anything that I like. I hear people everyday saying that they have just purchased housing and feel like I am the odd-man out when it comes to the real estate game.
2. I have realized that a person that has been close to me for a long time is really a hater in disguise. At 30, I like to think that I have put all high school girl drama behind me, and can act like an adult in situations. This person has been secretly trying to hold me back in a variety of ways, most recently in a situation with a guy that I liked. I know that that statement makes me sound totally paranoid, but I am not the only one that has noticed this hateration. It is difficult to cut this person completely from my life, as I have done with other toxic people in the past, so I need to really develop a plan of action as to how to handle further contact.
3.AssBoss has been on a rampage lately, including ripping me and OM a new asshole for our inappropriate and unprofessional behavior. OM wrote it better here, so you can read the whole drama unfold.
So by now, you must be thinking that I need to stop crying like a little bitch, sack up and take it like a man. Oh, I plan to. This is how:
1. If you clicked on the link above and haven’t realized by now that OM and Penny are one in the same, I’m worried for your deductive reasoning skills. We are in process of developing a new blog about our idating experiences, so this should take up some free time. If there are any guys out there that would be interested in meeting us for our experiment, email us a description of yourself at canagirlgetadate@gmail.com .You can also visit our blog at http://canagirlgetadate.blogspot.com/ .
2. Playing loud, angry rap music is the cure-all to my issues. In the illustrious words of Jadakiss and DMX respectively, “Fuck the frail shit” and “Talk is cheap, mother-fucker”.
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