For the past few weeks, Dirty and I have been having a rough time with each other. I guess we are having our one year massive blow out fight. I feel a little better about where we are at now, but know that we still need to work on ourselves separately and together.
I want to be happy in all aspects of my life, especially in my relationships. I know that I am a work in progress and need to maintain my self-esteem and self- worth during hard times. I have made the decision that I need to take time for myself, and kind of put my relationship second. We are not breaking up; I love Dirty a lot, but I have decided that I love myself more. Focusing solely on the relationship and where it is going has made me get a little crazy and overly dramatic.
I realize that we have been together a little over 1 year, which, for me, is not that long of a time to make a life changing decision. I think (thanks Penny), that once I decided that Dirty was the right one for me, and that marriage wouldn't be such a bad thing, I freaked out. I expected a ring right away, and was disappointed when it didn't happen. We talked so much about our future, I wanted our future to start right away. I know now that I am NOT ready for that. I think that we became too comfortable with falling into a routine and being complacent with it.
Dirty and I decided that we need to communicate in the moment and not allow resentments to fester between us. We are also going to stop spending so much time together. Missing each other is good for us and will make it more special when we do spend time together. I know that Dirty is the one, and he told me the same this past week. I really have moved into a better mind space, and I am not so worried about the future. As corny as it sounds, I know it will all work out in the end.
P.S.: T is back from PR and still in limbo about her boy. More details coming.
P.P.S: The title comes for the Jay-Z remix of Amy Winehouse's Rehab. Listened to it a lot this week. It's a hot song. Download it.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Six Pair of Kicks is MY Definition of Twelve Steps
Posted by Sloane at 11:38 AM
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4 comments:
Love the remix!!!
Ok, I am glad you are taking time out for yourself. Do you want to come and see Sex and the city on Sunday with me and Frenemy? Tell T to come....
If I lived in your area, I would have also offered to take you out for some girlie time. Unfortunately, we are WAY far away. Having said that, if you need someone to ever vent or talk to, you know where to reach me!
just so you know, Elle opened up her blog again. go give her your username, and she will add you if she goes private again!
Sloane - you can never go wrong making sure you are OK first - if we are not Ok with US - we can not be Ok with amyone:)
Thinking about you and I am so glad you feel good about this decision:)
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