Monday, August 18, 2008

Um, Baby Fever?

This post has no real grammatical value. They are just a bunch of sentences in my head that I need to get out. If you have over a 1st grade reading level, you'll get the jist.


Lately I have this feeling that something is missing for me. I've tried to articulate my feelings, but nothing ever comes out sounding logical. The one thing that I have noticed that is hitting me in the gut a little is that the majority of my friends are married, with most of them having or working on their 2nd child.

I feel left out. I feel like I am surrounded by people moving up and moving on while I am stagnant in my little box. I feel like there is something wrong with me that I have not achieved those goals in my life yet. I think that I have mentioned that 33 is my scary age, and it is coming up fast.

Sometimes I think that I put too much pressure on myself about this stuff. Logically, I know that everyone is different. I know that my time will come. My fear is that when it becomes my time, I am not going to be able to have a kid. With all the crazy medical issues that I have been having it is always in the back of my mind.

I can't help it.


~Penny~ said...

You have no idea what the future will bring you however if time isn't on your side, science is.

It is crazy but I feel it too. I feel like if I had a ring then my baby fever will go away. Weird?

Yes. But everyone feels it!

KBear said...

i know exactly how you feel. all of my friends were having kids, and they weren't even financially secure, and rubbing it in that i should have had some by now..

then, he finally proposed, and slowly but surely it started to happen. I know I'm not as old as you are (i'm only 26) but growing up in a small town, my scarey age was in fact 25. i wanted marriage and kids well before then, but it didn't happen. it happened when it was meant to.. no matter how much I wanted it.

now that I'm pregnant, i no longer feel something is missing.

well, except the puppy...:)

Jadeny said...

Penny is right...everyone is feeling it! I think that maybe it's also a case of the grass is always greener. Once we have the husband and the kids we'll be longing for our single days! lol

Anonymous said...

Penny is right, science is on your side! I have 2 friends who had had their first child at 35 years old. I know your clock is ticking and that's totally normal... just try to be patient because it will all fall into place in due time.

Jatorade said...

I know the feeling. I've been feeling it a lot lately. I feel I'm being pretty patient but I don't think my boyfriend understands the concept of time! He's been saying for a LONG time that it will be within a year...but over a year has past! (Mind you we have only been together 2 yrs)

One of his friends started dating a girl in April and they are now living together and talking about marriage. If they get engaged before we do I think I'll be a little angry. I know it sounds bad, but it's the truth

But honestly, I have been having the exact feelings a lot!

Jadeny said...

I need to get your email address.

Sloane said...

Thanks guys, I know that everyone goes through it, but it seems like the big elephant in the room that no one talks about.

Jadeny- email me at

rage said...

Sloane honey,

There's nothing wrong with you dear for not having kids. I will be turning 35 before too long and I don't have kids (of my own), and that was by choice. Just because your friends are getting married and having babies doesn't mean you have to.

Trust me, I majority of your friends who are married and have had babies are envious of you right now because you aren't married and haven't had any babies.

Life isn't always greener on the other side.

Having said that, I don't want to be the bad guy out of the group of commenters here. I just think there needed to be a different opinion voiced.

Hope you're not pissed.

Lisa Johnson said...

I guess that old addage is true...the grass is always greener on the other side. Before I say what I'm going to say, let me just start off with the fact that I would NOT trade Autumn for anything in the whole entire world. But, with that being said, enjoy being where you're at in your stage of life. It's good that you're taking your time and not jumping into a marriage w/ someone you've only known for 3 months only to turn around and be a single divorced mom one year later (yes, I'm talking about myself here). And there are so many things that you get to go do when you don't have a child demanding every second of your attention. I would love to go to the gym after work and get rid of my flab. I would love to have my own place and not pay $800 a month in daycare, I would love to travel, I would love to go shopping for 3 hours and not worry about getting home before Autumn wakes up. So, I'll admire the green grass on your side of the fence, and you can admire the green grass on my side. :) But I totally understand where you're coming from and how you feel. I guess it's all about just enjoying the "now" while you're in it. And don't worry about the whole kids and marriage will be a part of your world before you know it!

**Liz** said...

Ahh babies. Your time will come, I am sure of it. It may look like everyone has there crap together and are getting married and having kids. But yours will come.

The grass does seem to always be greener. I am the happiest person today because I don't have my famly around me, and I feel awful for saying that. But there are times when it is nice to just have me time, and not worry about if everyone ate lunch, and if it is bed time yet. I envy people who don't have to worry about doctor appointments, and soccer games, and play dates. There are days I wish I was single and could do things spur of the moment. And then I look at my family and smile, because I know they are the best thing for me. And that they happened when the time was right.

You will have a family, and you will be okay.

AZ Larsens said...

I wouldn't trade my kids for the world either, but there's a part of me that envies your "childless" life. Being able to work out when you want to, work where you want to, go to back to school if you wanted to, shop when you want to, sleep when you want to, read a book and just watch TV when you want to... Kids are great - but you are never just you again after you have a child. Does that make sense?

Stella said...

Okay...there is this moment after I had Kimberly where I realized that I loved her. Like I fell in love with her and there was nothing more intense than that. It was powerful and it changed me. It is the reason that people with kids pester people without kids to hurry up and procreate. It's the greatest high and you want everyone to know what you are talking about.

But! Kids are also all consuming little tyrannical soul/money suckers. Today i dropped $300 on school clothes for my daughter. I bought her $30 jeans. I don't remember the last time I bought $30 jeans. That is sad. And that is the reason why child free by choice isn't a bad choice.

That's all I'm sayin' :D

tara said...

I agree with Stella on the cost of dressing kids.
Sloane ,my 12 yr.old 7th grader has expensive taste.
Luckily we have discount stores and I am a sale shopperb/c that helps.
Mt son doesn't care what he wears as lons as he is not in pink.:)