Silence is Golden…So SHUT UP Already!

There are some days where I crave silence. No talking, no listening... just me alone with my thoughts. Usually when I have decisions to make, I close myself off from everyone and don't speak. I know, I sound like a freak, but it is one of my secret single behaviors. Yesterday and today have been those types of days; however with the wedding of the year at the end of the week, my days of silence are not to be. It seems that nobody in my circle of trust appreciates silence as much as I do.

Yesterday, I was offered a director's position at a small upstart social service agency in Brooklyn. The salary is a bit lower than what I was expecting, but the agency has less than 50 clients, so their budget reflects that. I would be developing an educational curriculum for incorporation into their treatment plans. While the job sounds interesting, and I would be given a lot of autonomy to do it, there is something about the job that just doesn’t feel right. I have a meeting tomorrow with the President and CEO to talk about what my decision is.

In trying to organize my thoughts to making this decision, I have been inundated with calls from friends and family, asking if I’m ready for the “big day”, taking care of visitors from out-of-state, and listening to everyone’s opinion on my job situation. I haven’t had a moment to formulate my own thoughts on the position and how I would benefit by accepting the job.

The more I try to withdraw and begin thinking about making a decision, the more people find me to talk to me about nonsense. Short of being blatantly rude, which I have been to a degree, and telling people to shut the fuck up; I have tried to convey the importance of silence for me at this time. Nobody gets it. They are in party mode after all…and how do you party in silence?


ADDENDUM: This is my horoscope for today. I think it says it all.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Sometimes you can choose to take the easy way out of a difficult situation, but this isn't the case now. Your current drive to do what's right makes your life more complicated than you prefer, but you won't have much of a choice. You must do what matches your deepest convictions if you're to hold favor with those people who are most important to you.