Blast from the Past

I was reading this post by Stella and it really got me thinking a lot about the kids I may have someday.

I am the middle child. That should say it all. But really, it just scratches the surface. I have an older brother, with whom my parents thought the sun shone out of his ass, and a younger sister, that did and continues to get away with murder.

So back to poor Sloane the middle child. I was very awkward growing up, much smarter than the kids around me, and more mature. My parents (who really are great, despite the complaining in this post), really didn't know how to raise "Americans". They both were born in Italy, my mom coming here when she was 12, and my dad coming here when he was 25. They were and still are a bit old-fashioned and really very strict.

We always had enough. That's it. Enough. There were no extras. According to my parents, they were unnecessary. No dancing school lessons, no sleepovers, rarely a play-date with someone who lived off of my block. And I wanted those things, badly. I wanted cool LEATHER Keds sneakers, with the scrunchie socks. I wanted to wear a spangly costume and take corny pictures in a showgirl pose. I wanted to have a sleepover birthday party. I wanted to have a perm and crispy bangs like every other girl I knew. (what? I grew up in the 80's.) I look back now, and thank my parents, because they knew I would look even more hurt than I already did, what with the telescopic glasses and train-track braces.

That being said, it really wasn't until I went to high school and got a job at the Gap that I was finally able to wear cool clothes and get some kind of style. I realized that glasses can be stylish (yay!), and developed a fetish for them. I began becoming more confident with my intelligence and instead of sitting back and letting other people lead me, I became a leader.

I have always said that I want to instill in my daughter the same confidence that I missed out in my earlier years. I think that boys have it easy, little girls can be bitches. I see my niece, who is all of 7 months old, and want her to have that confidence starting very young. I have already started to amass a wardrobe for her, although my bro and sil are very aware of what she wears. She has 10 pairs of earrings already and I am going broke buying her hair bows and other accessories.

Seriously, it may not seem like a big thing, and something so insignificant, but when you are shunned because you are wearing Velcro sneakers from Fayva (all my NYC'ers know what I'm talking about), and not the latest LA Gears. It hurts. Deep.

Then when you are about to turn 32 you write a blog post about it. Who needs therapy now?