Can't Make It Up

This story has to make you laugh, it did for me and considering the mood that I have been in, it was really welcomed.

Yesterday there was a client in the waiting room during lunch. I got called from the security guard on duty that one of our clients was being unsanitary. We have a lot of homeless clients and clients for whom personal hygiene is not on their to do list, so I didn't think anything of it. I go out into the waiting room to talk to the security guard. He points out the client who has his hands down his pants and he is without a doubt jerking off.

I look at the MALE security guard and ask him why he did not approach the client and tell him to stop. He told me that he didn't want anyone to think he was gay. DEAD ASS SERIOUS. Um, dude, I hate to break it to you, but that's kind of your JOB!!!! Let alone the fact that if anything really went down, the rent a cops would run away faster than the people they are trying to protect. But I digress.

I made the security guard go and tell the guy to stop, and escort him from the building. He started causing a scene, screaming that he was homeless and just out of prison, blah, blah, blah. At this point his pants fell down and he was stumbling around in his stained tighty- whiteys. So gross...but I couldn't stop laughing.

I called the police and when they came, they arrested him for indecent exposure. The funniest part of this whole situation? The officer's name.

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Officer Hand.

Funny right? No, just me then? OK.