No Means No! Except At Work--Edited

Edited to say baby shower. You all know I have bridal on the brain. ;)

Listen to this:

Sidekick is leaving for maternity leave on May 20th. Office Mate and I received an email a few weeks ago regarding a baby shower for her. We both ignored it, and figured to let one of SK's cronies from her clique throw it.

Fast forward to today. I get a call from the director of the unit, requesting me to "take the lead" on hosting this fucking shower. I wanted to ignore it and hope it would go away, but no. Basically, I was strong-armed into throwing a bridal shower for someone I hate.

Kill me now. The reason I was selected from the bevy of volunteers (NOT!)? Because I have suffered, I mean, worked with her in this unit the longest. Bullshit.

The positive side of this? I get 9 months of freedom, in that she will not be back from leave until January 1, 2010.

Small favors people. :)

The Ultimatum

I have gotten a few comments and some emails about the ultimatum that I gave Dirty, so I will give you all the details. Please note that I act extremely bitchy in this post; if you only want to hear about the rainbows and unicorn version of this blog, skip this post. :)

For the past few months Dirty and I have peripherally speaking about marriage. I have mentioned before that due to his unemployment, he has been focused on wedding stuff, going so far as to sign up for a wedding related website under MY name. I digress.

All this wedding talk was getting me frustrated; and I finally broke and told him that unless he was serious enough to run out a get a ring to put on my finger that he needed to shut the f up about getting married. He got offended that I didn't think he was serious. Whatevs. It was a blow-up that got quickly squashed.

Fast forward to the day he found out that he had gotten the job. I was so excited for him (but more for me thinking that the ring was on its way). The first thing out of his mouth? Wow, now I can afford to buy the convertible bar for my car. Jigga What? I told him that the first thought in his head should be buying me a ring, since we had to put it on hold when he got laid off.

Ready for the kicker? He said that we have only been dating 2 years and that we hardly know each other. He needs time.

My mouth dropped open. I was like WTF? 2 years and you don't know someone. Dude, I hear you fart in your sleep. I think we have passed the point of trying to impress each other.

Anyway, I just told him flat out that if he wanted to waste time, he could find a 19 year old to waste time with, but since he decides to be with me, and I will be 33 in September, he needs to get his ass in gear and shit or get off the pot, and that if by December 31, 2009, he was still constipated, I was out. (Just to clarify, I am also not accepting a waiting until the last minute ring, it may be funny and cute, for Christmas or New Year's Eve, but no.)

After I said it, I felt so relieved. I didn't realize that I was holding so much anger and rage towards him about that. It just melted away. Since then, we have not discussed it, and he has not mentioned wedding stuff to me; and I like it that way. For me it is better not to be a topic of conversation, to get my hopes up unnecessarily.

So like I said, the clock is ticking...271 days left.