My Girl

I am trying not to have this blog turn into the I Love Dirty page, but here are two little Dirty stories that thawed my once cold, hard heart:

1. Picture it: Me cooking in the kitchen cooking, Dirty on the phone with one of his boys. All of a sudden I catch the tail end of the conversation: "OK, bro (he's corny, I know), I got to go. I'm at my girl's house and she is cooking dinner. I need to set the table before she's done." First, Can I just say that I love that he calls me "my girl"? I know all the feminists will chastise me for that, but I think it is so cute. Second, not only did he set the table without being asked to, but cleared all the dishes and washed them too. I guess the training program I have him in is working. ;)

2. We were watching TV, and a commercial for the cable system came on. If you are in NYC, it is the one with an old couple sitting in matching recliners. Anyway, Dirty turns to me and says "That is totally us in 50 years; look I even have a comb over!" I died laughing, and after I was done I realized the seriousness of the comment and I didn't break out in hives! Growth, people.

Happy New Year.

May 2008 be a year filled with health, happiness and a little more wealth never hurt anyone! :)

BE SAFE!

Happy Holidays!

With the over the top political correctness in the agency that I work for, this post will contain no references to Christmas, or any other religious/cultural winter festivity.

Without further ado, here is a list of all of the gifts I received this holiday season. Stay tuned for a posted picture of my Holiday tree.

1. Parents bought me a Home Owners tool kit and an Aero Garden so I can grow herb in my house. I wish is was the illegal kind, but fresh cilantro will have to do.

2. My bro and s-i-l gave me cash. Tons of it. They shall remain on the Holiday card list next year.

3. My sis bought me the entire Harry Potter series in Italian complete with snappy carrying case, because I'm bilingual like that.

4. Dirty's mother bought me some apartment stuff, glasses and dishes. Really nice.

5. Dirty bought me diamond hoop earrings, Lacoste Touch of Pink perfume that I like, some earmuffs, some lingerie, a gift certificate at Bliss Spa for a total spa day, UFC 79 on Pay-Per-View, and a few more scandalous prezzies.

Not a bad haul. Although I do have to say that I treated everyone really good this year as well. I guess the fact that my credit cards have been smoking in my wallet can attest to that.

For the holiday- that-shall- not- be- named, I cooked an awesome meal for my entire family in my kick ass kitchen; Straciatella Romana soup, an 8 pound standing rib roast with all of the trimmings... garlic mashed potatoes, roasted sweet potatoes, roasted asparagus, etc. and gravy from scratch. Go me. It was an awesome meal complemented with SO MUCH wine. After dinner, those who didn't pass out, played cards and watched HP5 on DVD. Such a fun, relaxing day. To top it all off, my mother and Dirty's mother cleaned my whole kitchen, which was the best gift that they could have given me.

On to New Year's Eve, which I hopefully will get to celebrate in my PJ's, cuddled with my men, Dirty and Harry. Yes, I am that nerdy.


P.S.: No joint account. I figure what's mine is mine and what's his is ours. Luckily, he thinks that same way. ;)

Money In The Bank...Maybe

I know I have been crap about posting, but I need everyone's opinion.

Dirty approached me with the idea that we should open a joint bank account together. His reasoning is that when we go on vacation together (more on that later), we can pull from that money and not have to dip into our savings or use a credit card. The most that we would put in would be 50 dollars per paycheck; so like 100 dollars a month.

Theoretically this makes sense to me, as having another pile of money to be able to use when I need it, because I am bad with saving money. But, I am no fool. I watch Judge Judy and listen to Aunt Wendy (and Penny). I am still on the fence about this. I trust Dirty with my life, except when I am post-menstrual. I really feel like he is the one...oh shit, did I just say that out loud? So why am I so resistant to this?

A similar situation happened to T, in that she started a bank account with the guy that she was dating for 5 years, with the thought that they would get married, and needless to say they broke up and less than a year later, she was whoring around, and he was married with a kid on the way.

Regarding our vacation: In March, we are going to Argentina for 3 weeks. He has family in the area and another cousin of mine and her husband who is from there are going as well. So it will be fun, with or without the money in the bank.

Help!

Mother of All Updates

I know I haven't posted anything in a while; I needed to get my shit right first. I'm getting out of the funk that I have been in for a while now. Looking back on it, I really have no real reason why I was so down; I mean my job sucks, but that is about it. I have a great BF (more on that later), a kick ass apartment, and a pretty good network of family and friends.

First of all the big news: I am an AUNT!!! My S-I-L delivered a baby girl on 11/20/2007. It is scary to think that my bro and his wife are now responsible for another human life. That being said, she is the cutest baby out there, and she is already asserting her lungs in the nursery area. Love it.

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I finally decided on a backsplash for my kitchen. They are an orangey-brown natural stone tile and it looks really nice with the black granite countertop, and stainless steel appliances.

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I mentioned about a fight that Dirty and I had in the previous post, and I got a few emails about it. We are still together, and worked out the problem that we had. It is a heady thing; to be able to work out a problem with someone, and to trust them enough that the issues are resolved.

Basically, what sparked off the fight was that I was going through a big issue with my family and needed him to just listen and be supportive… show me some affection… that sort of thing. He decided for whatever reason to go and watch a soccer game with his friends. Needless to say, that really made me feel even crappier; and then I got a drunken phone call later in the night to come and pick him up from the bar they were in. I definitely lost my shit then. I called him selfish and left him to get a cab. Hence, World War III started.

We went back and forth for a little while; mostly him being angry that I didn’t come get him, and me being angry that he blew me off for his friends. He admitted that it was a fucked-up thing to do on his part, and I may have been a little over-dramatic about it.

The truth is that normally when he tries to be supportive, I usually push him away. I think because I have been single for such a long time, I am used to relying on myself for all of that stuff. You know, curled up in bed with my tissues. He told me that I have a wall up; and I realized that it is true. I don’t let him in, and want to figure everything out on my own. I never said I was perfect, and I know that I am a work in progress, and that is OK, and I know that he will be there for me, especially when I let him.

P.S.: What do you all think of the new layout? I'm trying something new...

So Over It

These past few weeks have been nothing short of a nightmare.

Other than being in a horrible fight with Dirty, which I will get into at another time, work has been hell. After Tall_Trees_ left, I thought that I would get a bit of reprieve, i.e. no work drama. Boy, was I super-duper wrong.

One of my staff decided to refuse a directive. At my agency, this is considered a terminable offense. BS, I know, but I have to toe the company line, being middle management and all. I went through all of the proper channels and she was put on suspension. I guess she deserved it, she did have a real stank attitude about the entire situation, she took further than it needed to go. I have never seen someone take so much pleasure in a disciplinary procedure than Sidekick. She really is an evil person. I always knew it, but to see it manifest like that is real scary.

I told Sidekick this week that she needs to learn to separate her personal feelings and issues from her professional life, when she got into it with another staff member and tried to begin disciplinary procedures. She was given the smackdown by our HR rep, who told her that this is the second time in 2 weeks that she has brought someone before Labor Relations and it makes her look really bad. She then tried to back talk some shit about how she just wanted to get his opinion on the situation. Blah, blah, blah. She is really crazy and I am now convinced that she was awarded the director's position because the powers that be want her to see her fail and leave. Sooner or later she will implode from all of the stress and hate she carries all the time.

On another note, it drives her even crazier that I am always calm and collected, making her get even crazier. Love it. I just have to keep it together until I get back from my vacation, when I will start looking for something else full force, instead of the half-assing I am doing now.

Busy as a Bee

Between having to clean my construction zone, preparing for S-I-L's baby shower and all the work drama, I have not had a chance to breath, let alone blog about it. So, without further ado, (in list form, of course), here is the stuff that has been going on in my world.

1. Kitchen finished. I cannot wait to have my first dinner party! Once I finish cleaning the entire apartment (dust travels fast and far), I want to have a big housewarming party and then corny theme parties like Tupperware, Party Lite, etc.

P.S.: Thank you for all of your love of my kitchen. Regarding the backsplash: My original thought was glass tiles (Stella!) in differing shades of blue or green. Needless to say, the pocketbook was not down with this suggestion. So I need to come up with an alternate solution. The kitchen gets so much light that I wanted to stay a little on the dark side.

2. Not only did TallTrees_ resign, but I had to fire one of my staff based on her time and attendance; which was none, and on her refusal to do one of her job tasks. Sucks, but she deserved it.

3. SIL is pregs and we had a baby shower for her. She was so ungrateful about the whole thing. My mother KNIT a blanket and the only thing she said was that it didn't match with the nursery decor. Listen, I am as big of a bitch as the next girl, but you don't say shit like that out loud, and especially about something that your MIL worked really hard on.

4. Dirty and I have been together for 8 months and it stills feels weird to me to have someone that I can completely be myself around. I am not used to someone other than myself indulging my every whim, and totally supporting everything that do. We do get into fights, serious ones, but I don't feel like I need to hold a grudge. We talk about it and it is over. No residual anger or passive aggressive behavior on my part which is a big thing for me. The best part about him though is that he encourages my 2 addictions; reading and food. He recently came home from a business trip to California with 2 cookbooks from Sonoma Wine Country. Love them and him.

So I am back in my apartment full time, cooking meals in my kitchen and trying to save money for my the next upcoming projects: the Bathroom and a three week trip to South America. Anybody want to donate to the Sloane is Poor fund? :)

My Pretty Kitchen- 3

Stove/Oven
Refrigerator- Freezer on Bottom for this short girl!
Detail work
Other side.

So this is my beautiful kitchen. I am so happy with the way that it came out. The only issue is finding a tile that I like for the backsplash; I am looking for something specific, and have had no luck. Who knows, I may start a new trend for tileless, half painted backsplashes. :)

My Pretty Kitchen- con't

Granite Countertop
Above the Sink Cabinets
Sink
Hood again

My Pretty Kitchen

Sink/Dishwasher
Microwave Hood
Stove/Oven

Cabinets/Refrigerator

Even Though It Is Raining, The Sun Is Shining

Tall_ Trees_ resigned_


That_ is_ all_ I_ have_ to_ say_ on_ this_ matter_

Birthday Hangover... No I Am Not Engaged!

Well another birthday gone and I'll tell you that this one was really nice.

Starting with the flowers on Friday, I have just been collecting gifts all weekend. I know I sound like a spoiled brat, but I can, it's my birthday.

I got some really nice gifts from the family. My parents bought me a set of Calphalon pots and pans for my new apartment. My sister bought me a digital camera, and I got cash from my brother.

Dirty bought me the watch that I have been hinting at; so I guess he does listen to me. He also got me this corny balloon that has a motion sensor and starts singing when you pass by it. He also made me cry with the things that he wrote in the card, which really said everything that I always nag him for not saying.

Dinner was great, the food at that restaurant was awesome. It was a real special occasion place, a bit expensive for a random night out. I would definitely go there again; but not on my dime of course!

As a change of topic, I went to a bridal shower yesterday and everyone was asking if I was engaged, since my birthday just passed. No, and I loved seeing the looks on the faces of the women when they gave me the whole; "Oh, I'm sorry you didn't get engaged on your birthday." and I was like; uh, I'm GLAD he didn't propose.

So back to the grind. I sent out a bunch of resumes just to get my name out there and see what will be available to me. We'll see what happens. Wish me luck!

I Make 31 Look Good!

So today is my birthday, and instead of calling in sick and having a day of pampering, I decided to be a good employee and go into work today.

The staff here is so good, they bought me lunch and got me a Carvel cake*. So good. Let's just say that Monday October 1 is the start of the diet. Almost better than that, the radio in my office was coming in so clearly today, that it HAD to be a special miracle for my birthday. Someone was looking out for me today.

Dirty sent me flowers to work, a really nice bouquet of Gerbera daises like this:

They are so colorful against the prison-issued paint color of my office. Still have no idea of the gift he got me, I'll wait until tonight at dinner.

Speaking of dinner, the fam and I will be going to Locanda Vini e Olii in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn. It is located in an old pharmacy, the building is 130 years old. This restaurant changes their menu every day based on the chef's whims. We are doing the gourmet tasting menu, and I am really excited. Check it out here.

On another note: the best birthday gift of all is that my appliances are getting delivered tomorrow. The only things left are to get the sink and counter top installed. I am so close to having my kitchen completed I can feel it. I will post pictures once it is complete.



P.S.: Sidekick and TallTrees_ did not get a piece of my scrumptious cake. Suckers!

Go Me, It's My Birfday!!...Almost

Yes, at the end of this week I will officially be "in my thirties". Scary thought. While nothing can top last year's 30th birthday extravaganza, (go here to read all about it), 31 should be just as good. I don't really have anything specific on my birthday list, just some new stuff for my house, and maybe a pair of slippers for me. I have my eye on some big ticket items, but I'll save those for Christmas. As long as I get an ice cream cake, I'll be fine.I am not planning anything, maybe dinner with the fam, some alone time with Dirty and prezzies.

Have I mentioned that I love to get presents? They really do not have to cost much (last year being the exception), as long as they are thoughtful in nature, I'm a happy gal. Needless to say that a lot is riding on Dirty's gift. We soon shall see how well he knows me, and how good he is at picking up the hints that I have been dropping.

As a side note, Dirty found out about this blog on Saturday. Only 2 real life people know about this blog; my sister, and Penny. I have kept it undercover for the most part because I want to be able to write whatever I want and not have to worry that I am hurting anybody's feelings or being politically correct. I don't know how I feel about him knowing about it; I feel exposed somehow. To his credit, he didn't really push about it, or ask to read it or anything like that, so maybe it is me just being paranoid. Any thoughts?

Protest!!

I got my evaluation on Tuesday, and wouldn't you know it, I got a good one. Extremely contradictory to the memo the day before stating my lateness issues. When I brought this up to Sidekick, she really couldn't answer me as to why this was glaringly opposite. Whatevs.

So I decided to call in sick yesterday and today. Obviously, TallTrees_ cannot handle the unit on her own, as evidenced by the 6 phone calls to my cell phone from her and Sidekick, not to mention the other phone calls from the staff regarding my absence. I will say this about the staff that I supervise, they are extremely loyal to me, and have been since Penny left and TallTrees_ took over. Sidebar: I needed to be here anyway, as they were laying the tile in my kitchen, but that is besides the point.

I have spent the last 2 days updating the songs on my I-Pod, catching up on some much needed sleep and making lists for my birthday and Christmas. I also sent a resume or 2 out. :)

P.S.: About Thanksgiving; needless to say, Penny is right on the money.

Update

No, I didn't get a promotion from Sidekick; I got a "Final Warning" memo about my lateness into work. My evaluation is due on Wednesday, so I guess this was a preemptive strike, so that when she fails me on my evaluation, she can say that she gave me fair warning that this was an issue. Riiiiight. I would take that from someone who is here at 9am on the dot, not someone who strolls in later than I do, which BTW is only like 9:10am.

I will be changing my Blog template, which sucks because I loved the turquoise with hot pink. It will be done some time this week, when I find one that is feminine, but is not so girly that it will make me retch!

Kitchen is almost done, I can hardly wait. I will post pictures of the entire apartment once I am done with everything and do a massive clean-up. I'm thinking Thanksgiving at my house. Am I crazy??

100th POST!

So this is my 100th post. Funny that it took over 1 year to get here. I feel like such a different person from where I started....but not really.

On the other hand, I am sort of weirded out to report that Dirty and I have become THAT couple. The one that goes and spends the whole day at Home Depot buying crap like light fixtures, and spending hours picking paint colors and other such crap. I bought a tool kit for 20 bucks; I will be that DIY girl.

Haven't spoken to T in a while, she sends me BS emails every day, but I don't respond. I will have to see her soon at a function so I need to formulate a game plan about how to handle it.

Same crap at work, meeting with Sidekick today, so I will keep you all posted about it. I really am over the whole issue. I want to stay here until I take my vacation in March and then leave. If I plan it right, I will end this job and start the new one when I come back.

We'll see where I am at in another 100 posts.

BTW, I know my blog looks funny, I am working on fixing it without losing everything. I'll try to do it today, but these bitches actually expect me to work at work! Who do they think they are? ;)

9/11/01

I am re-posting what I wrote last year to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11. Please remember those people who lost their lives in a senseless act of violence.

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Every New Yorker has their own 9/11 story, here is mine. 5 years ago I worked in a hospital, in an outpatient clinic. I was just about to leave for a morning meeting when one of my co-workers started screaming for me, calling me back and into the conference room. She was eating her breakfast in there and was watching television. We both saw the second plane hit the tower, and looked at each other in shock. We just stared at the television thinking it was something out of the movie Independence Day. It was totally surreal.

About an half hour later, we were called by the hospital Chief of Staff and told that the hospital was on lockdown and that all management personnel were needed in the Emergency Room to assist with triage. NYC buses were transporting firefighters, police officers and EMS workers from our ER downtown, and bringing back people that had minor injuries. The most vivid memory I have of that day is that all of the people coming into the ER from the site seemed grey and were covered with soot and debris. Towards the end of the day, the National Guard had set up camp on the hospital grounds and were Medevac-ing severely injured (mostly burned) people from the WTC site.

At this point, I was unable to get in touch with my parents or siblings to let them know that I was ok, just unable to leave the hospital. I tried to get in touch with my cousin and my roommate who both worked close to the towers, my cousin at 120 Broadway, my roommate at One Liberty Plaza. I didn’t find out about either of them until 2 days later, both fine, they found each other and walked uptown together. I was able to leave the hospital at about 11pm, and while traveling home, I couldn’t help but notice how quiet the streets were. Eerily quiet. No cars on the road, hardly any traffic. No hustle and bustle. Just silence.

It was weeks later before I found out definitively of two friends that died, both of whom worked at the WTC. JFQ and PC. You are always missed.

Please go here to to see the list of victims from that day.

When Hater’s Attack

I don’t know if it is just me, but I feel like lately I am surrounded by female haters in my life. Forget about the bitches at work, this is personal.

I may have mentioned before about a close person to me who with whom I have had issues with in the past, and I am not trying to seem like a whiny bitch about this but something happened this weekend that really pissed me off.

This person, let’s call her T, came out with me this weekend with the intent that she would stay at my apartment. Dirty was meeting us at the apartment later in the evening. This was supposed to be a “Girls Night Out”. Anyway, she proceeded to get wasted, which I don’t really care about, but what happened next was. She proceeded to call all of her jump-off’s, to see which one would come to my house to fuck her. I told her that I didn’t want any strange people in my house and that if she wanted to hook-up, they could come to get her and she could go with them. I knew that she would just wind up passing out when we got to my apartment; which is what happened anyway. No big deal. Dirty was there when we got home, she was all up in his face; punching him in the arm, making dumb comments about not wanting to hear us having sex while she was in the next room, stupid shit like that. He didn’t say anything about it, but I could see he was getting a little pissed off.

Fast forward to the next morning, Dirty went to get us breakfast, and she lit into me about how since I started dating Dirty I’ve changed and all I care about it myself now.

A little history: She has always been in a weird one-sided competition with me about everything in our lives. When she found out that I was buying an apartment, she decided that she needed to move out of her house and into her own place. When I was looking for a new car, she went out and bought one first. So on and so forth.

She has also been the one that always had a steady boyfriend, where I was always the single one. A few years ago, the guy that she was dating broke up with her because he didn’t want to get married, however less than a year after their breakup, he was married with a kid on the way.

So now that she has been sleeping with half of the population of NYC (unsafely, I might add), she thinks that she has the right to comment on my relationship and how I have changed. I asked her to tell me how I have changed, and she couldn't give me a straight answer. Is it because I don’t feel like putting up with her slutty behavior any longer? Is it because I have finally realized that she is one of those people that are only happy when others are miserable?

It came out that she thinks all I do lately is stay home, cook (when I had a kitchen), and watch wrestling and ultimate fighting with Dirty. **

Now, deep in my heart I know that most of her shit comes from her having a really crap self esteem, and still not over her ex, and being a little jealous about my life, but are these valid excuses anymore for someone who is 32 years old? Is this just someone that I have to cut off and call it a day? I’m interested in your opinion.

**Newsflash: I did the same thing when I was single. The only thing that has changed is that now I get some booty while doing that stuff.

What Team Do I Play For?

Well according to SK, I don't play for any team. Yes, that is right, not only am I doing the job of two people and covering for a third who is out on vacation, SK had the nerve to tell me that I am being resistant to TallTrees_ and training her, and that I need to be more of a "team player".

I hate to admit this, but she made me cry. Luckily, this whole conversation took place over the phone and she couldn't see me. I would hate to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she got to me like that.

Normally I don't give a fuck what she says or does, I just continue about my business, which serves two purposes: a. to drive her crazy; she cannot stand not getting a response, and b. so that I do not make myself crazy.

Needless to say, I lost my shit with her after that, (partially because I was pissed at myself for crying like a bitch), and told her she really needs to re-evaluate her perspective on the supervisors in this unit, and make sure that she is really faulting the person who deserves it.

So that is basically where I am at now. Re-doing my resume, still pissed off, and definitely biding my time until I can really screw them big time.

Cough.... Cough..... Cough..... Hmmm, I think I may be getting sick.

In Limbo

So I'm still kitchenless, with no start date on the horizon, so I have semi moved into Dirty's house. I hate it, he loves it. I don't hate being with him, but I hate not having my own stuff with me at all times. I hate having to pick out clothes for work days in advance so that I don't go naked to work, I hate not having my books and being able to spend as much time as I want in the bathroom. At least I'm getting awesome dinners and lunches out of the deal. So I guess I really can't complain that loudly.

FYI, after my medical procedures, he took really good care of me. Let me say foolish things while I was under anesthesia and didn't make fun of me for them when he told me about it later. The two things I remember from that is that when the doctor came in while he was dressing me, he shielded me with his body; which was silly because the doctor had already seen it all, but sweet nonetheless, and when I woke up out of the anesthesia, my hands were in my pockets while I was on the exam room table. I was like WTF?? why are my hands in my pockets? He told me that he put them in there because they were limp and all over the place and he was afraid that I would pull out the IV that was in my hand. So cute. Also while I was in getting the procedure done he went to the shoe store and bought me the following sneaker:

Love them! Pink and brown, although I am still on the fence about the velcro closures. I haven't worn them yet, I think I need to get a smaller size.

On the work front, TallTrees is getting on my last nerve_ Every task she is asked to do, she has an issue with_ I have explained things numerous times and feel so overwhelmed that I have to do everything here with no support_ I have never me someone in my entire work life that is so passive agressive in her way_ Oh wait, yes I have, Sidekick, who is no help either, telling me I have to work as a team_ She knows that I miss Penny, but I have to move on and learn to work as a team_ Umm, yeah, this is also the person who, when I met with her in a meeting recently, asked me if I was resigning_ I told her that she would not be so lucky to get rid of me so soon_


P.S.: If you haven't figured out the reason for all of the dashes, you obviously do not read this blog nearly enough. Get to the archives and figure it out!

Eating Takeout Does a Body Bad!

You know life is funny sometimes, just when you think everything is falling into place, BAM, everything falls apart.

OK, so maybe I am being a little dramatic, but really this week has been a rough one for me.

Starting with work: I have never been so stressed out at a job before in my life. TallTrees (new girl, what do you think of the nickname?) is a waste of space. I would rather be alone and do the work of 2 people than to have someone who is useless. Every time I explain something to her she gets this puzzled look on her face and says "Hmmm, I don't know about that". Guess what? It is part of your job description, you have to do it. The thing that pissed me off most of all is that while she is on the Internet and personal calls, and I am doing all of the work, she comes into my office and says "Thanks for your help". Umm, yeah. She also leaves an underscore at the end of all her emails and name. Like TallTrees_. Why?

At home: I am still without a kitchen. It is amazing at how much stuff I used to do in that kitchen that I hated. Now that I don't have one, I can't do anything. Apparently, all of the plumbing and electricity in the walls needs to be upgraded before they can install the kitchen and appliances. I am cool with that. What I am not cool with however is that I don't have an approximate start date for all of this work. I have been eating take-out food for the past week, and let me tell you, for someone who enjoys cooking, it is torture. I guess this is the price you pay (no pun intended) when you get family involved and get things done for free. Hopefully I will not have to wait any longer for this because it leads me to my last issue.

With Dirty: We haven't spent any time this week together since Sunday. Why? I don't have a kitchen, so he won't come over. He wants me to come over his house, to stay over until they finish all the work. I appreciate his offer, but I paid for my apartment, and I am going to live there. He doesn't understand why I want to stay in the construction zone when I can just live with him for a while. So I have purposely not gone to his house at all, and he hasn't come to see me, so I guess we'll see what happens this weekend when he takes me for my annual endoscopy/colonoscopy and he has to take care of me in my apartment. I've already told him that I want to sleep off the anesthesia in my own bed, but since I'll be half knocked out, we'll see where he takes me.

My Dirty Boy

If you are allergic to sugar, please do not read this post.

This weekend, the BF went fishing with his boys while I stayed in my apartment and waited for the guys to come and demolish my old kitchen. (Kitchen drama= long story= another post.)

We had been planning to go on this trip for a while, but at the last minute I had to pull out because of the whole kitchen fiasco. He wanted to cancel also, but I told him to go anyway. Before he left on Friday, he was so excited to go, like a little kid on Christmas and spent practically the whole week organizing his fishing gear and packing any and everything that he could have possibly needed. I spoke to him a few times this weekend, nothing really major. He sounded like he was having a good time bonding with his people.

I spoke to him Sunday in the afternoon and he told me he wanted to go home and sleep, after driving and getting stuck in traffic for 3 hours. At about 8:30 my intercom rings. I just got out of the shower. No one comes to see me, because I haven't told anyone where I live. Thinking that it was a mistake, I ignored it. I couldn't see who it was anyway through my window. My doorbell rang shortly after, and I saw through the peephole (safety first!) that it was Dirty.

When I let him in he was hugging and kissing me and telling me how much he missed me this weekend, and that everything that he did he thought of me and how much I would have enjoyed it. He gave me 2 stuffed animals that he won at some carnival, and a few fish that he caught. At this point, on the outside I was practically gagging, and asked why he was acting like such a girl; but on the inside I was getting the stomach flops over the sweetness of it all.

We ordered food, got some nookie and fell asleep on my couch watching Ultimate Fighting. That's why I love him.

Replacement--Yes, I'm Wearing My Hater Hat!

So today is Penny's last day at work and I am beside myself. I will miss her a lot. It is much easier to work in a hell-hole if you have someone to team up. If it is just you, you look like a difficult employee; if you have a partner, your boss is the one that looks crazy.

But the purpose of this post is to identify Penny's replacement. I don't like her. I know that it is early, and that you will all say that I don't even know her yet, but there are things about her and I consider myself a pretty good judge of character. By the way, based on the information below, I would like to ask for assistance in coming up with a nickname for her.

1. She is like 9 feet tall and still wears 4 inch heels. Maybe this is my short girl complex coming through, but really...do you need your head to touch the ceiling?

2. Yesterday, she had short hair... today it is long and flowing. I know it is either a wig or weave, but one of my pet peeves is the drastic backwards look of hair. Long to short, I'll recognize. Short to long, not so much. At least make it look a little natural.

3. Her first few day here she spent all day surfing the Internet. I waited at least a week before I started handling personal business at work.

But the thing that aggravates me the most about her is:

4. She spells her name wrong. I know that that is her parent's fault for the creative spelling, but really, as a professional adult, ghetto spellings really should be put on the back burner.

Like Dirty says all the time "If you got real hair, real fingernails, if you got a job, you going to school, and y'all need nobody to help you handle your business...Make some noise." She unfortunately can not make some noise.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

OK, so I haven't updated as much as I said I would. My bad. No excuses. I know I am a big, fat liar so no need for the hater emails.

So here are the updates:

1. Vacation was awesome, maybe I'll post some pics here or on my flickr account. Resort was really nice, but the weather was so humid. Made my already frizzy, unmanageable hair seriously go on strike no matter how many products I used to reign it in. Luckily, everyone elses hair looked as awful as mine did.

2. Traveling with the bf was nice. He is a little anal about taking all sorts of things "just in case". I thought I was bad, but he is off the chain with that. As corny as this is going to sound, I think that this was a real test of our relationship, and I am convinced now that he is a great match for me and vice-versa. We complement each other so well. It is a bit scary for me, but I dropped the L-word to him, and it only took me 6 months.

3. On a sad note, my partner in crime, Penny is leaving me. I am not recognizing this until her last day, hoping that she will change her mind, but I doubt it. She's leaving me alone to deal with Sidekick all by myself. You can send her hate mail and express your outrage here.

4. Speaking of Sidekick, she got squashed between 2 delivery trucks; apparently crossing the street behind one. Now we are talking about a big girl here, not easily missed if you know what I am saying. (and I am only saying that because she hates on me and Penny). She took 2 days off and is back at work now gimping it up. It is humorous actually. Unfortunately, she does not show any outward signs of being permanently mangled. Oh well, I can still dream.

Other than that, things have been pretty status quo around these parts. Being a homeowner takes a lot of time, not to mention money, but it is really nice to get home after work, change into my PJ's, eat cereal and watch DVR'ed WWF MSG wrestling classics with no one to bother you. Next on the improvement agenda is a new kitchen being installed within the next few weeks. It pays to have a dad in the business; I got my new fancy kitchen for free. Love It!

Happy Harry Potter Day- Part 1

For those of you living under a rock, officially the 5th Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix opened today at 12:01 am. Oct and I did not wait on line to see it at 12:01, because as you know, I am officially old, and have a J-O-B. We will be going instead to see the film at 9:45pm tonight, so that the latest that I will be in bed is 12:00.

Now the book...is another story all together. Harry Potter Day, Part 2 will take place on July 20 at 8pm. Oct and I have already pre-ordered our books, and will be attending the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Midnight Magic party at our local Barnes and Nobles. Hopefully this time we will meet some cooler kids than last time. If there is one thing I hate it is young kids who think they know everything. Yes, I felt much better after reading the book about getting into a fight with a 15 year old girl about who the Half Blood Prince was. Neville my ass. Just know that I called it from the jump.

Has It Really Been That Long?

I cannot believe that I have been so busy that my last post was on Friday, April 13th?? I didn't even celebrate my 1 year blogaversary (albeit with long breaks in between) on April 30th. Well, here's a quick update for my 2 readers out there; bulleted list style (you know it's my fave):

1. Finally, after much waiting, I moved into my new digs, complete with the requisite nosy neighbors who are curious as to my "deal". Here is my deal: I'll mind my own business, and you mind yours, and we'll get along fine.

2. Still dating Dirty the architect. Subject of marriage has come up, and I put it right back down again. We are going to the Riviera Maya in Mexico at the end of July, so we'll see how that goes. Vacations are the make or break part of any relationship. If we can travel well together, maybe this will work long-term.

3. Penny and I were separated at work. Yes, we no longer share an office. Everyone is jealous that we have our own offices now, but we miss sharing. It messed up our groove, and we had to have a custody battle over most of the shared items. She got the printer, I got the Magic 8-Ball. Fair trade, wouldn't you say? The thing that really sucks about this new space? I get no cell service and barely any radio service. So Wendy Williams at 3 for advice hour is out; and that sucks most of all.

So that's what going down in Sloane land. I'll be posting more often now, I promise. ( I know I say that all the time, this time I REALLY mean it!)

Because I'm A Homeowner Now

Since being in contract for my apartment since the beginning of February, and waiting patiently (NOT!) for all of the components to start working together, the title has become my go-to phrase for everything that I don't want to do. (Although I am still a pseudo-homeowner) Penny hears it at least 45 times a day, for things ranging from why I brought my lunch to work instead of buying it, to not going to some corny bar for happy hour. Trust me, no one can even argue with you when you use that excuse. They are the ones that end up looking like haters.

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There must be something in the air/water here in NYC, because practically every female that I know is pregnant. Keep looking the other way; there are no babies coming out of me anytime soon, although my parents have been pushing marriage on me hard since I introduced them to Dirty. I finally told them straight that I was not interested in getting married, and I thought that their eyes would never stop bulging out of their sockets. So, now according to my father, Dirty stepped in shit, he's so lucky. He doesn't have to buy the cow, and he's getting the milk for free. But, if you really think about it, so am I. There were also references by my father to spinsterhood, and old maid-ness.

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I am getting excited that I will be shopping for furniture and housewares shortly. I have totally become a Bed, Bath and Beyond whore. I must spend at least 4 of my 7 hours at work on the site. These are some of the items that I am purchasing for the new pad. What is the female version of the bachelor pad? The bachelorette pad...nah. More like the Old Maid pad. I'll take it!

I am also obsessed with buying this popcorn machine. It reminds me of the machine we got free from the bank when I was young for opening an account. It makes the best popcorn!

I'll Tell You Your Future

Towards the end of 2006, Penny and I went to a psychic to see how our 2007’s would fare. Linda was on point with everything, but at 60 dollars a pop, she was just not a steady fiscal possibility, being that we both work in social services, and were looking to become homeowners.

Penny, being the crafty ho that she is, came to work just before Christmas with a gift for us. The Magic 8 Ball. Economically sound and just as on point as Linda. The Magic 8 Ball has not been wrong yet, and trust me, we have put it to the test! Except for the one error in co-signing that Penny was going to be fired, we have not doubted it at all.

Ok, so you can only ask yes or no questions, but it is better than basing your day around on the horoscope in the amNY newspaper, which is probably written by a 10 year old.

Time Flies...I Guess I'm Having Fun

With all that has been going onsince the last time I posted: between the Astronaut Love Triangle, Anna Nicole Smith drama and Britney shaving her head, I finally have time to sit down and update my 5 readers on what has been going in my life.

1. Finally, a seller has accepted my bid for an apartment, and we are in contract. 1000 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom with an eat-in kitchen. The complex has a pool, exercise and laundry rooms, and a parking space. It fell into my price range, so I jumped on it. Approximate closing date is April 2nd. I cannot wait.

2. Luckily, I began dating an architect (Dirty), which will help when I decide to renovate the apartment. He has already sketched me a model of how I want my kitchen to look. It helps when you can use the bartering system to get what you want. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

3. Things at work are pretty much the same, although it was nice and quiet since Sidekick went away for 3 weeks to get married and AssBoss was at another site. Penny and I worked well together and got props from AssBoss on how we managed the unit in their absence. Of course once Sidekick came back, she started the hateration cycle all over again, basically because Penny and I were able to show AssBoss that her (Sidekick’s) position is irrelevant.

So far that is all I got for you. I will get into details later about all three updates, I know you are all dying to know.


P.S.: For those of you who have difficulty making and sticking to decisions, get yourself a Magic 8 Ball. Works like a charm.

Miss Me Yet?

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my blog; there has been a lot going on right now in my life, and I'll be posting an update in the next few days. 2007 may turn out to be a good year after all!

Let A Playa Play

The dating blog was a good idea in theory, but in practice, a little difficult, since I can barely keep up with this blog.

Therefore, to update you all of the boys that I have been dating, and in the tradition of reality shows such as Flavor of Love and I Love New York, I am posting a list of their nicknames, age, job, and some identifiable traits. It is also worth mentioning that it is awesome to be able to get ass on a regular basis again. I have split them into four groups: the good, the bad, the ambivalent, and those on deck.

The Good

Dirty- 32, architect: Don't let the nickname fool you, there is something about him that I am very attracted to. While you wouldn't pick him out off the street for being gorgeous, he is almost as smart as I am; and our conversations are total verbal foreplay. I also think it is cute that he stutters when he is nervous or excited about a topic.

Faux-32, accountant: Another smart guy. We also have good conversations as well. One negative about Faux: ex-girlfriend factor.

The Bad

Geek-34, bartender: Now we all know I love the geeks, except for this one. This guy has a degree in childhood education, but has been a bartender for the past 10 years at a bad chain restaurant. I am not judging his job; I am judging his lack of motivation to advance.

Wall St. - 29, broker: He totally misrepresented himself, starting with his height. He was maybe an inch taller than I was. You all know that I am short. The other main issue I had was that he was proud of the fact that he is a conservative Republican. Again, if you read this blog regularly, enough said.

The Ambivalent

Volvo-30, detective: We have a lot in common, in terms of familial similarities and personality, but there was no spark there.

On Deck

Fireman-30
Cop-29
Teacher-31
Pharmacist-29

New Year, New You

Just transferred the site to new Blogger. So far it has been a bit difficult to navigate, although that could just be my resistance to new things.

I am also on the fence as to whether or not I should change the template or leave it as is. Any opinions are welcome.

New Year’s Revelations

First off, I hope that everyone had a great holiday season and did everything that they wanted to this year.

Secondly, I would like thank most of my friends and family were very good about keeping to my gift list, except for my mother, who broke rule #1, by not consulting with my brother, which resulted in me getting 2 iPods and 0 North Face jackets. What will happen at this point is that when I get a chance to return one iPod, I will use the money for the jacket.

Now on to the good stuff:

I am feeling uncharacteristically optimistic about 2007, and it is a bit disconcerting. Usually I dread the New Year, because all I do is reflect back on the things that I have NOT accomplished during the year. For me, most of 2006 was crap…literally. Although I will say, I achieved many goals in the last 5 months of this year. Some goals may seem a bit meaningless, but consider the fact that at this time last year, I was sitting on a toilet for 22 out of 24 hours a day.

1. I started a blog.
2. I quit one job and got another.
3. I made some new friends: blog and real life.

So, instead of making only one all-encompassing resolution that I know I would break before the end of January, I decided to start a list at 43things.com (see it here) that I plan on working on throughout the year. If anyone has any suggestions on what else I should add, let me know.

Happy New Year!