Six Pair of Kicks is MY Definition of Twelve Steps

For the past few weeks, Dirty and I have been having a rough time with each other. I guess we are having our one year massive blow out fight. I feel a little better about where we are at now, but know that we still need to work on ourselves separately and together.

I want to be happy in all aspects of my life, especially in my relationships. I know that I am a work in progress and need to maintain my self-esteem and self- worth during hard times. I have made the decision that I need to take time for myself, and kind of put my relationship second. We are not breaking up; I love Dirty a lot, but I have decided that I love myself more. Focusing solely on the relationship and where it is going has made me get a little crazy and overly dramatic.

I realize that we have been together a little over 1 year, which, for me, is not that long of a time to make a life changing decision. I think (thanks Penny), that once I decided that Dirty was the right one for me, and that marriage wouldn't be such a bad thing, I freaked out. I expected a ring right away, and was disappointed when it didn't happen. We talked so much about our future, I wanted our future to start right away. I know now that I am NOT ready for that. I think that we became too comfortable with falling into a routine and being complacent with it.

Dirty and I decided that we need to communicate in the moment and not allow resentments to fester between us. We are also going to stop spending so much time together. Missing each other is good for us and will make it more special when we do spend time together. I know that Dirty is the one, and he told me the same this past week. I really have moved into a better mind space, and I am not so worried about the future. As corny as it sounds, I know it will all work out in the end.

P.S.: T is back from PR and still in limbo about her boy. More details coming.

P.P.S: The title comes for the Jay-Z remix of Amy Winehouse's Rehab. Listened to it a lot this week. It's a hot song. Download it.

Trouble in Paradise??

Just got a text from T, who is currently in Puerto Rico. She landed at about 10:30am. It is now almost 5pm. And I quote:

Ok Ladies,

There is no shot this is going to last. Well I tried. Thanks
for all your love and support in this matter. See ya Tuesday.
xoxoxoxo T.

Say it with me... I told you so. I feel so much better getting it out of my system. Have a great long weekend all.

3rd Round TKO

I really feel beat down by stress lately. With all of the shit (no pun intended) that is going down with the crackies, compounded by work bs and personal bs, I feel like running away, and avoiding all my stressors.

Saturday the maintenance crew came to fix my bathroom. Wouldn't you know that the second they got there, I got explosive diarrhea? TMI, I know. I had to call my mom to come pick me up, because I didn't want to reschedule these jokers to fix my bathroom. I was so pissed. Thank goodness Dirty was able to stay and supervise those guys or else I would still be staring at a massive hole. Oh sure, he bitched and moaned about it, but really he did nothing but drink beer and play his PSP, so he had a good day.

I really don't know what is happening with my relationship with Dirty. I feel so apathetic about everything now. We talk about getting married, buying a house and future plans, but that is all that it is. Just talk. I just want to settle some things in my life now. I hate living in 2 places, I hate that I have to buy 2 sets of everything, so that when I stay over his house I can feel comfortable. Most of all, I hate that he doesn't get how difficult it is for me to live such an unorganized life. He's fine. Always. There are bigger issues here, namely that he wants his mother to live with us (post for another day), that I really don't feel have been worked out between us, and I don't know if they will be.

Work sucks as usual. I really want out, but 4 weeks vacation is hard to come by in this business. Honestly, I only do about 3 full days work during the week. I don't take work home, my job is really easy. Comfortable. If my boss wasn't such a pain in my ass, I would love my job.

So that's where my head is at right now. I just want to go home alone and make some macaroni and cheese with hot dogs and curl up on my couch in my PJ's. The End.

A Little Story

So most of you remember my hater friend T? If not, go here for a refresher. Anyway, I am going to tell you the story of T and her new friend B.

Once upon a time, there were two friends that lived next door to each other T and B. They did everything together. One day when it was T's 8th birthday, all she wanted was a Rubik's Cube. B stole his brother's Rubik's Cube and gave it to T. When B's parents found out, they made B go get it back. Fast forward a few years and T moves away. B is heartbroken. Fast forward a lot more years and B finds T on classmates.com. They start talking and made plans to go out to dinner. Within the week that they were talking he went to Toys R US and bought her her own Rubik's Cube. Cute story, right?

Here is the strange part. They have been hanging out for about 2 weeks now. They have already booked a trip to Puerto Rico together, leaving next week. They have picked out her engagement ring and named their future children, and have gone house hunting together. I feel like she is going super fast through the process and will wind up being hurt. Am I being a hater here? I am very supportive of her to her face, but I am screaming in my head that this is a bad thing. I've met him, and I kind of get a creepy stalker vibe from him. She is happy and I don't want to rain on her parade, but I'm wary. The biggest red flag that I get from her is that he really doesn't want to get to know her... and by that I mean that he is already fallen into the comfortable routine that couples get into when they are together a long time; they have only been dating less than ONE MONTH!!

How should I handle this? I need your help!

Come On People... How Cute is She??

Look at how smart my niece is at only 5 months old. Reading already! She takes after her awesome aunt.

Couldn't you just eat her up... but in a good way?

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Did you ever have one of those days where everything goes wrong? I am having months like that.

Let me not even start about the bathroom. I swear that I am so angry that I could spit. Ok, I'll tell. The latest news is that Patty has started the eviction process with them. The kicker... I can't get my bathroom ceiling fixed until they get fully evicted. It is considered evidence. I am so frustrated right now, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Work sucks as usual, and since I have been taking off a lot of time to deal with this bullshit bathroom issue, I have practically exhausted all of my vacation time. So no summer vacay for Sloane.

So I seriously need to win the lottery or find a sugar daddy (or momma, at this point I am not being choosy), and buy a nice crib away from all crack infested people. Pray for me!

No Ceilings Allowed!

For the past month I have been living with this in my bathroom:

That is the hole in my ceiling where the maintenance people were trying to figure out where the leak was coming from. This is the medicine cabinet and light fixture that gets the brunt of it. P.S.: I am not that big of a slob, those dust crumbs are from the hole.

Fast forward to today when I come home from jury duty to this:

Yes, ladies and gentleman, that is crackie infested water all on my medicine cabinet. The best part? That it seeps inside the hinges so that all of my stuff inside is tainted.

No that is not the new hot decorating trend, that is nasty water ripples. Picture those full of water that I have to pop.

You can't really tell, but I caught this one in motion. Leaking motion. Jealous?

****************************************

So currently I hate my management company and am trying to screw them by purchasing the most expensive fixtures that are available for my bathroom. Please pray along with me:

Dear Lord, Jesus and whoever else is up there:

Please let the crackies move out and back into the projects where they belong, so that I can have my nice, beautiful bathroom sanctuary back. I promise that I will not talk bad about anyone else for the duration of my time living in this apartment*. Thank you. Amen.

P.S.: You really didn't think that I could go longer than that did you?

SAVE THE TA-TA's!!

I had a pretty eventful weekend. Friday I met my personal trainer, who as I mentioned before, is huge; like 7 foot tall and like 4000 pounds. Ok, I exaggerate a little, but compared to me at all of 5 foot nothing, he is a tall drink of water. I told him my issues and what I want to work on, and get this... he wants me to work out 5 days a week. Umm, yeah. The whole reason that I don't already exercise is because it takes away my precious couch time, so let's just say that this will be a huge adjustment for me.

Saturday I did the 5K Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer with my family and friends in support and memory of all the people we know affected by breast cancer. It was a pretty fun day, except for the cloudy cold weather. Can I just say that another reason why I love NYC is that it is an amazing thing to see almost 50 thousand people gather for a great cause and to speak with some of the women who have survived this heinous disease. We walked from Times Square up Broadway to the East Meadow in Central Park. The best part of my day was seeing this woman named Nilda who was carrying a homemade sign that said "I am walking in support of myself... I am not ready to be a memory yet". Can I tell you I was crying like a little bitch after I saw that. I had to talk to this woman who was so determined to beat this disease and had so much faith that she would. We spent part of the time walking together and I watched so many survivors come up to her and thank her for the sign she made. Her whole family was there supporting her by walking with her and she told me that they raised almost 60 grand for the cause. She is truly an amazing woman, and was a real inspiration to me. By the way, go to savethetatas.com and buy some cute stuff.. They also donate a portion of each sale for Breast Cancer research.

Sunday was my parent's 34 wedding anniversary. All I can say is that 34 years is a LONG time to be with someone. Saw my niece. She is an awesome baby. So aware. She only cries when she has a full diaper. I can't wait until she gets a little older so we can do bonding time together.

Monday, I will be all up in the the Supreme Court of NYC doing my civic duty by being Juror #4. Hopefully I will see some cute lawyers milling around. Hey, a girl needs her eye candy. Besides just because I am taken, doesn't mean I am blind.

Peace out.


P.S.: Dirty went to visit his douchebag friend this weekend. Apparently db took him to a strip club. I was playing the role of good girlfriend and not calling every 5 minutes to check up on him. Imagine my surprise when I get a call at 12am telling me he was leaving db at the club and he was going home because he hated having old, smelly crotch in his face, (He was a bit more vulgar, but this is a family show), and that he missed me a lot. I have trained him well. He will get a bonus in his envelope this week. :)

Jumping on the Bandwagon

Since I see everyone else with cool stuff on their blog, I thought that I would copy-cat and get a twitter account. Now you don't have to wait for a boring blog post! You can see all the trite and mundane things I do in real time! Awesome!

Some Random Rants

Since I have been sick like crazy because it is colder than a witches tit (what does that mean anyway?) in my office, I have decided to lay down some quick rants that have been bothering me lately.

1. Bathroom Attendants: Who signs up for this job on purpose? I can't imagine someone saying to themselves that this is what they want to be when they grow up. First of all I dread going to a place that has one. For me bathroom time is personal, and if I deign to go in a public area, at least let's keep the anonymity shall we. I hate going to the bathroom needing to do unladylike business with someone clocking my every move. Please. I don't need you to hear me pass gas, or drop a deuce, and then have to look you in the eye while you pump soap into my hand and turn on the water for me. I hate it even more when you expect a tip for that. Leave me be.

2. Warm Weather Hoochies: Yes it was warm here in NYC for a few days, but really? Really? Do the Daisy Duke shorts need to come out already? It barely grazed 70 degrees, and I saw tricks wearing short shorts and tank tops like it was over 100 degrees. Maybe I'm hating a bit because I would never wear clothes like that in 100 degree weather anyway, or that Dirty was on ass patrol since we saw the first girl with crotch huggers on rollerblades no less.

3. Sidekick and Work: Can't leave this out. After being promised a raise and promotion from Sidekick since Penny left, I have had an important meeting with her saying that everything is on a hiring freeze, i.e. no raises or promotions, and that she hates to do this, blah, blah, blah. Since we all know that she is full of garbage, and actually takes pleasure in screwing people (except for her husband. Ohhhhhh snap), and know that I will never get what I want from here, I have been taking a page from her book and working from home on a few occasions and using up my sick and personal time while quietly going on interviews. So far I have some good prospects, but nothing concrete, but I'm thinking positive.

4. Crackies Upstairs: Ain't this a bitch? One of the crackies that live upstairs actually came down to my apartment while I was home from work one day to ask me why I complained to the maintenance department that my ceiling was leaking. That crackie was so lucky that I wasn't at 100 percent. I simply told him that disease infested water raining down on me was not my idea of cleansing myself. Since he is such a simpleton, it took him a minute to unravel my verbal ninja skillz and apologized and went on his way. By the way, somehow the Department of Buildings came the same day that I was off and checked the apartment upstairs. "Patty" called me to say that they will be re-doing my bathroom this weekend, and that I need to select the fixtures that I want. Do you think that my ass deserves to sit on a $800 bowl? I do. Jacuzzi tub? Can't live without it. Eat me maintenance corp. You owe me.

Photos from Uruguay

Here are some of the pictures from my trip. Dirty made a video that I am trying to upload to You Tube, but F them, it is not working.

Another bunch of photos are on my Flickr account here. I am unable to post most of them so I picked the best ones.

View from the hotel room

Sunset on the farm

Ducks in a row. Notice how the color changes from bright white to grey. They always walked in that order.
Room Service at the hotel, Eating on the balcony.

Me on the beach. Dirty took this picture from the deck of the house we rented.

I've Been Tagged!

There is a first time for everything, and this is the first time I have been tagged. So here goes.

1. Each blogger answers the questions about themselves.

2. Then tag five people. Make sure to let them know!

What I was doing 10 years ago - (1998):

I was 21 and getting ready to graduate from college (yikes, I’m old) and ready to enter the real world. Was working as a nanny, because we all know that a sociology degree doesn’t get you far, until the lady that I worked for got me a job at the hospital she worked in.

Five things on my to-do list today:

1. Call Patty in the Maintenance Office and scream about my bathroom ceiling. That is leaking. Again.
2. Take my clothes to the laundry.
3. Sign up for the Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer.
4. Buy my niece a gift for her christening.
5. Look up some recipes on the internet to add to my repertoire. I am sick of cooking and eating the same things.

Five Snacks I enjoy:

1. Beets—Straight from the can!
2. String cheese
3. French fries
4. hummus/pita
5. clementines

Five Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

1. Quit my job—kiss my ass Sidekick!
2. New Wardrobe-Personal Shopper!
3. Big house with huge outdoor kitchen.
4. Summer home on water with boat (even though I cannot swim)
5. Travel like it IS my job5. Personal haircare team.

Five of my bad habits:

1. Leaving wet towels on the bed
2. Not hanging up my clothes
3. selfish
4. curse like a sailor
5. lazy, lazy, lazy

Five places I have lived:

1. NYC
2. NYC
3. NYC
4. Florence, Italy
5. NYC

Five jobs I’ve had:

1. GAPKids, back in the day
2. Nanny
3. Administrative Assistant
4. CRC
5. Next career move unkown

What I’d like to be doing in 25 years:

56 years old. Hopefully retired, sipping a mojito, laying in a hammock reading a book facing the water in my vacation house.

***********************

I'm not tagging anyone. Everyone I know already got this.

Eff You, You Effin Effers

Do you ever get the urge to just scream at the top of your lungs? Well I totally feel that way today.

My bathroom ceiling is leaking again. This is the count it 3rd time this has happened. I don't know if I posted it here before, but I live below a bunch of crackheads that make so much noise. Apparently during a drunken binge one night one of the crackies decided to take a bath and ran the water... and passed out. Needless to say that when I woke up the next morning and it was RAINING in my bathroom I was not happy. It was fixed. Fast forward less than a month later, it happens again, except for the raining part. This time, I get huge water bubbles on the ceiling and wall. I call the maintenance department and they come right over to fix it. Apparently, they cannot find the source of this leak. Hmmm. Anyway, I go on my trip and come back to THE SAME FUCKING THING!!!! Now, I have been more than understanding about this situation and that shit happens, but 3 times within the past 4 months?? I don't think so.

I called the maintenance office and ripped "Patty" a new one. She started defending the crackies to me. Um, no, bitch. I am the one being inconvenienced when a bubble pops like a pimple and spills crack infested germy water on my tub, sink and floor. So I dig deep and find out that they RENT their apartment through the Section 8 program. Say what? I am paying almost 2 grand a month in mortgage and maintenance to live underneath some welfare recipients that can't even remember to turn the water off after they finish allegedly bathing? Oh No.

So I may have called the Department of Buildings to have them come and inspect the above apartment to see how many crackies live there and hopefully get them evicted. Oops, did I just say that out loud? My bad.

What Do You Think?

I was devastated (OK, not really) when I lost my other blog template. I LOVED the hot pink with turquoise, but I looked long and hard (OK, not really) and found this one. I also figured out how to do HTML in less than 2 hours. I rock. Pffft, and these people want me to actually WORK at work. Hmpf.

Take a Break Update-- The TMI Edition

Let me set the stage for this drama:

The infamous "let's take a break" weekend was over and I started to feel a little sick, you know kind of nauseous, and had a really hard time going to the bathroom. Dirty was feeling the same way, and decided to go to his Dr. I decided to get to the gyno, just in case, it felt like a UTI or yeast infection to me.

While I am driving to the gyno, I get a call from Dirty telling me to get checked for STD's. Say what? I am all for safety, but the way that he told me was super sketchy. So I asked him if there was something that he needed to tell me, i.e. that he was banging someone on the side. He denied it, and asked me if I had someone on the side. I decided not to dignify that with an answer, since we all know that the answer is no. The whole situation was surreal and I am lucky that I didn't crash my car into anything. Seriously, in the space of less than one week, my perfect relationship seemed as if it was spinning straight into the crapper. The story is much more long and drawn out, but you get the gist.

Fast forward two days: My gyno put me on antibiotics (UTI) after all, and I got super sick from them. Vomiting, fever, runs. You name it, I got it. When Dirty heard that I was sick, (you know, after taking the 100 "break" phone calls), he came to my house and picked me up. He took really good care of me, feeding me, and at one point threw me into the bathtub and sprayed me with the handheld shower head after my fever reached 104.3, and I was so delirious that I couldn't sit up straight. I put my foot down when he wanted to take me to the emergency room, because I didn't shave my legs.

So needless to say, our break was over. We had a long talk about what we expected and wanted out of this relationship, and I think that he was just feeling trapped. All of his friends are married, most of them have kids, so their lives are pretty stable; i.e. not exciting anymore. His douchebag friend has the exciting life, with the parties, clubs and different girls. Dirty's problem is that he is in limbo right now. He misses that party life, but he is happy to have it behind him; and he is not ready for the super responsibility of supporting a wife and family. So we are on the same page again, and it feels really good.

P.S.: He never went to go visit his friend because I was sick and he needed to take care of me. I think that they rescheduled, but I was happy to see that his priorities were in place.

Taking a Break

Can I just say WOW? Life is funny and sometimes I feel like I am in the middle of a really bad 80's movie. It has been a week since my trip, but I still feel all discombobulated. Dirty and I got alone great on our trip, (except for me demanding to be taken to the airport), so it shocked the hell out of me when after a few little tiffs here and there, he tells me he wants to take a break.

I know, WTF???? Since we have gotten home, he has been pretty distant. I mean we still do things together, but I was feeling some disconnect. Any time I asked him what was wrong, he said nothing. The kicker came when I was trying to be all lovey- dovey and was rejected... on 3 separate occasions. So needless to say that that really did a number on my self-esteem. To add insult to injury, I was getting my period, so my confidence was shot to begin with. Then he tells me that he thinks that we should take a break and that he made plans for this weekend, when will be heading to Boston to hang out with his douchebag friend who I hate. You know that guy, every guy has that friend, the strip-club loving, drunk ass, walking STD.

So I have been very snippy lately with him. What aggravates me most of all is that he will play the dumb game... like "why are you upset?" So yesterday we went to go see my niece and give my bro and sil some gifts we bought for them. When we got there Dirty was all about the baby, holding her, feeding her, etc. In the car ride home later, he tells me that he is ready to have a baby. Cue record scratch. Jigga What? A child? So I asked him who he had selected as his baby mama. Bitchy? Sure. So you can imagine my surprise when less than 24 hours after telling me he needs a break, he is asking me to incubate a child for him.* That's when the backpedaling began. The funny thing is that for someone who claims not to want to get married or have kids, he certainly talks about it. A LOT.

Right now, I don't know where we stand. He has been calling me non-stop and sending me stupid text messages. I have avoided all of the cell calls, but the fucker keeps calling my work phone, and since this place is so ghetto I don't have caller ID, so I can avoid those calls too. If he wants a break, he's getting one.

Now excuse me, I need to answer another 50 phone calls from my alleged boyfriend who wants to take a break.


****UPDATE:

So I am reading my girl Penny's blog, and she is going through the same mess with Cakes. We are living parallel lives, yo.



* P.S. The key to my uterus is diamond encrusted; at least 2 1/2 carats.

Hardcore Drugs, Milk in a Bag, and a Hammock on the Beach

I'm back.

Let me preface this entry by saying that South America should be on everyones places to visit list. The people and locations are stunning. So here is the brief rundown of my trip.

I'll start with the worst plane ride in the world. We flew TAM Airlines, which is a decent airline, however, when you are congested and sick is torture. The smell of the food made me nauseous, and I usually love airplane food. (I'm weird, I know), there was a baby that cried for 9 hours straight. How do I know? Well apparently the miracle drugs that my doctor prescribed to me didn't knock me out, on the contrary, I was awake for 4 days. (I'll get to that later).

We got to Uruguay, and it was POURING rain. Apparently before we got there, it rained for 12 days straight. Needless to say Sloane was not a happy camper. Dirty's cousin lives in the country. I'm talking sheep, and chickens here. I couldn't sleep in the house and it came to the point where I was counting down the minutes to hear the roosters crowing. I was so frustrated that Dirty was able to sleep that I would wake him up constantly and we got into such nasty fights, culminating in me demanding him to take me to that airport so I can come home. Two days later he took me to a 4 star hotel, to make up for that. Let me say that the house in the country is really nice when the sun is shining, in the rain it is torture.

From the hotel in Montevideo we went to Colonia del Sacramento. It is a small town on the coast that was settled by the Portuguese. We went to all of the museums and eventually I will post pictures. I am trying to get Dirty to make a video that we can load onto You Tube. From Colonia we took the Buquebus Ferry to Buenos Aires, Argentina. Spent 2 days in and around Buenos Aires, and actually, this was the most boring part of our trip, so we left early. I wasn't interested in a seeing the South American version of NYC.

From Argentina, another ferry back to Montevideo, where we went back to that same hotel, The Oxford, and started to plan our trip to Brazil. At this point the sun was in full force and I was itching for the beach. So we decided to switch plans again for Brazil and spend a week in 2 different small towns on the coast of Uruguay. Cuchilla Alta and Punta del Diablo. Really nice beaches, although the water is a bit cold, and is not crystal clear like in the Caribbean, because it is on the Atlantic Ocean side. Who cares, we rented a house that had two hammocks facing the water and stayed in Cuchilla Alta for a week. A 2 day side trip to Punta del Diablo was really nice as well. I didn't get sunburned, and honestly you cannot even tell that I went away. I was cray-zay paranoid with the sunscreen.

We spent the rest of our time exploring parts of Uruguay, and we spent the last 3 days of our trip in Sao Paolo, Brazil, where we took off for home.

Most of the locations on the trip reminded me very much of small towns in Italy and they still have that quaintness and charm. The people there are gems, and they will literally give you the shirt off their backs. Some of the things that I really couldn't get used to were the bathrooms, which were very minimal. Toilet, bidet, shower head. That's right, no tub or barrier between the shower and rest of the bathroom. Weird. The only place that had a shower door was the hotel in Montevideo. Another thing that was strange, all liquid dairy products come in plastic bags. Milk, cream, yogurt. All of the houses have these plastic pitchers that they put the bag into. Like cut a hole in the bag and drop it in.

The start of the trip was a little rough, but at the end, I didn't want to leave. And for those who care, Dirty did not propose. Sorry Penny.

I'm Out

Finally getting ready to go, keep feeling like I am forgetting something. All I have left is my mani-pedi-wax and then I will be on a plane for the other side of the world.

Did I forget to mention that I am totally sick? With bronchitis and the flu. Awesome. Thank God my doctor is awesome too and she gave me some hardcore drugs to sleep the flight away. Hopefully the sun and sand will assist the bronchitis, and I get better really soon.

See you in 3 weeks!

Countdown

That's right people. T minus 7 days and I will be on a 14 hour flight to South America for 3 weeks. Is it too late to back out?

I have been quietly freaking out about this trip for so many reasons; my anxiety getting the better of me, and lashing out a Dirty in a really mean way.

My main issue: my parents. They have been shitting all over this trip since we bought the tickets, but since the day is getting closer, they are going hardcore on me. My parents are old-school Italian, so they are concerned with what other people with think that their hussy of an unmarried daughter is going away for 3 weeks with her boyfriend. In my father's words, a stranger that can leave me on the side of the road with no way to get home. The funny thing is that Dirty and I have been together for 1 year and they didn't create such a fuss when we went to Mexico together after 5 months, so I don't understand why they are freaking out now. There is so much more to the story, but that is the jist.

Anyway, I am really excited about this trip, and can't wait.

Update:

For V-D, we kept it low-key, and made a deal about not spending more than 10 dollars on a gift. I got Dirty a sketch pad he can bring with us, and he got me a bunch of books to take on our trip. He also surprised me by cooking me dinner: Sauteed scallops with a sherry sauce, and steamed lobster with butter and potatoes, champagne, and a chocolate mousse tarte he bought. Awesome. My man can COOK! I know, enough with the bragging, but one more thing? He really does buy the perfect cards for me. They are just right, not so fakely sappy, but have the perfect sentiment. Beats the homemade card I made him from work 1/2 hour before I saw him. :)

I Heart My AeroGarden

Since it is V-D, i thought I would express my love for my AeroGarden, the greatest gift I have received in recent years. (Don't tell Dirty I said that.) I swear, that thing is magical. Currently I am growing lettuce in it, and let me tell you what a difference the taste and freshness is from bagged lettuce from the supermarket.

I have begun treating my AeroGarden, whom I have affectionately named Sevvie, (after Snape of course), as my child, and get excited on my commute home to see him, and how much he has grown. Recently, I did a major pruning, so there is not much left and he looks pretty naked. I am scared to leave him when I leave for my trip, because no one takes care of your kids better than you do.

Let me tell you, for someone who is a certified plant killer, this is foolproof. Love It.

Neglect

As it always happens, I have been neglecting this blog for the good things that have been happening in my life. So back to my bulleted point lists... you know how I love them.

1. Sidekick is really feeling the pain of her promotion. She inherited a unit that has so many problems, and with that, her boss is micormanaging her to the nth degree. Can you say KARMA? She has been "working from home" more than usual, because she can't bear to be in the office and face her supervisor. Guess who she turns to for help to be the middle man? Yep. Me. Listen I am going on vacay in less than 3 weeks, and more to the point, I don't give an F about her petty problems. I am more concerned with finding a bathing suit to hide my fat ass.

2. 2 staff have resigned from there positions. Sidekick thinks there is a conspiracy against her. Paranoid much? What do you expect when during staff meetings she tells the staff that if they don't like it they can do her a favor and leave. Loyalty is earned, not expected.

3. A year with Dirty flew by really fast. I wanted to keep it low-key with the trip and everything so I didn't get him anything. He bought me a bracelet that I was eyeing and a new pair of kicks. He loves me in sneaks for some reason. This is the second pair he bought me. Both pink. Hmm, trying to get girly colors on me somehow. I see his game.

4. Getting ready for the trip. Bought a new set of luggage, and packed all of my summer clothes. Pesky work getting in the way of my fun. A little secret? My mind has left the building a long time ago. Trip Advisor is my new supervisor now.

I'll keep you all posted. I still have pics of my Christmas tree to post. Late.

Can My Day Get Any Better?

Not only have I fit into a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear in a while, but my radio FINALLY works in the new cubicle area. I can listen to Aunt Wendy all day long and piss off Sidekick who absolutely HATES that I listen to hip-hop music at work.

Now...if I can only get my boyfriend to stop acting like a little bitch my day would be perfect. ;)


P.S.: Why are so many of the blogs I lurk around on going private?

Not to Toot My Own Horn But...

Toot, toot. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said or written about me. It's true that we never realize how we affect people.

Conversations and feelings that may have been, OK, WERE inappropriate for work were all laid out on the floor of room 403, and if the walls had ears, my oh my, what they would say!

I truly needed to hear something like this after another battle with Sidekick, who was given another promotion. So basically not only have I been dealing with the same old BS, but now am dealing with a megalomaniac in training. Really, it doesn't get to me so much because when I leave work I don't think about it or her, but sometimes, I just want to spend the entire day in the staff bathroom and play Tetris on my cell phone to hide out from her. I know that every workplace has their own politics, but I figure that if I can deal with her, everywhere else will be a piece of cake.

My mantra is now: 2 months until Argentina. I WILL hold out for that long!

New Year

The older I get, the more comfortable I become with myself and the people around me. Weird, I know, but there is always room for improvement. Last year was really great. It is proof positive that once you set your mind on specific goals and work towards them, they are achieveable. Case and point: apartment.

So in true resolution fashion, these are some of the goals that I am working on for this year.

1. To get a better job. To clarify: I like my job and hate my boss. I would like to find something where I can learn and grow in a positive environment. I put some feelers out, so we'll see what happens. I am not in a rush though, I want to make it to my vacation first.

2. Lose weight. How am I going to compete with the amazing bodies on the beaches in Brazil? Did I mention the side trip to Brazil for Carnival during my trip to Argentina? Dancing, drinking and just crazy partying. Scary for someone semi-middle aged.

3. Spend quality time with my niece. She is too little now to appreciate it, but I want to make sure she grows up confident in herself and her style and intelligence. These are some of the things that I was embarrassed to have during the elementary and junior high school years, that developed and flourished in high school and then in college. No I don't care what people think and my life is much better for it.

I'm sure that as the list goes on, things will be added and as things are completed they will be replaced. For right now, this is all I want to handle.

My Girl

I am trying not to have this blog turn into the I Love Dirty page, but here are two little Dirty stories that thawed my once cold, hard heart:

1. Picture it: Me cooking in the kitchen cooking, Dirty on the phone with one of his boys. All of a sudden I catch the tail end of the conversation: "OK, bro (he's corny, I know), I got to go. I'm at my girl's house and she is cooking dinner. I need to set the table before she's done." First, Can I just say that I love that he calls me "my girl"? I know all the feminists will chastise me for that, but I think it is so cute. Second, not only did he set the table without being asked to, but cleared all the dishes and washed them too. I guess the training program I have him in is working. ;)

2. We were watching TV, and a commercial for the cable system came on. If you are in NYC, it is the one with an old couple sitting in matching recliners. Anyway, Dirty turns to me and says "That is totally us in 50 years; look I even have a comb over!" I died laughing, and after I was done I realized the seriousness of the comment and I didn't break out in hives! Growth, people.

Happy New Year.

May 2008 be a year filled with health, happiness and a little more wealth never hurt anyone! :)

BE SAFE!

Happy Holidays!

With the over the top political correctness in the agency that I work for, this post will contain no references to Christmas, or any other religious/cultural winter festivity.

Without further ado, here is a list of all of the gifts I received this holiday season. Stay tuned for a posted picture of my Holiday tree.

1. Parents bought me a Home Owners tool kit and an Aero Garden so I can grow herb in my house. I wish is was the illegal kind, but fresh cilantro will have to do.

2. My bro and s-i-l gave me cash. Tons of it. They shall remain on the Holiday card list next year.

3. My sis bought me the entire Harry Potter series in Italian complete with snappy carrying case, because I'm bilingual like that.

4. Dirty's mother bought me some apartment stuff, glasses and dishes. Really nice.

5. Dirty bought me diamond hoop earrings, Lacoste Touch of Pink perfume that I like, some earmuffs, some lingerie, a gift certificate at Bliss Spa for a total spa day, UFC 79 on Pay-Per-View, and a few more scandalous prezzies.

Not a bad haul. Although I do have to say that I treated everyone really good this year as well. I guess the fact that my credit cards have been smoking in my wallet can attest to that.

For the holiday- that-shall- not- be- named, I cooked an awesome meal for my entire family in my kick ass kitchen; Straciatella Romana soup, an 8 pound standing rib roast with all of the trimmings... garlic mashed potatoes, roasted sweet potatoes, roasted asparagus, etc. and gravy from scratch. Go me. It was an awesome meal complemented with SO MUCH wine. After dinner, those who didn't pass out, played cards and watched HP5 on DVD. Such a fun, relaxing day. To top it all off, my mother and Dirty's mother cleaned my whole kitchen, which was the best gift that they could have given me.

On to New Year's Eve, which I hopefully will get to celebrate in my PJ's, cuddled with my men, Dirty and Harry. Yes, I am that nerdy.


P.S.: No joint account. I figure what's mine is mine and what's his is ours. Luckily, he thinks that same way. ;)

Money In The Bank...Maybe

I know I have been crap about posting, but I need everyone's opinion.

Dirty approached me with the idea that we should open a joint bank account together. His reasoning is that when we go on vacation together (more on that later), we can pull from that money and not have to dip into our savings or use a credit card. The most that we would put in would be 50 dollars per paycheck; so like 100 dollars a month.

Theoretically this makes sense to me, as having another pile of money to be able to use when I need it, because I am bad with saving money. But, I am no fool. I watch Judge Judy and listen to Aunt Wendy (and Penny). I am still on the fence about this. I trust Dirty with my life, except when I am post-menstrual. I really feel like he is the one...oh shit, did I just say that out loud? So why am I so resistant to this?

A similar situation happened to T, in that she started a bank account with the guy that she was dating for 5 years, with the thought that they would get married, and needless to say they broke up and less than a year later, she was whoring around, and he was married with a kid on the way.

Regarding our vacation: In March, we are going to Argentina for 3 weeks. He has family in the area and another cousin of mine and her husband who is from there are going as well. So it will be fun, with or without the money in the bank.

Help!

Mother of All Updates

I know I haven't posted anything in a while; I needed to get my shit right first. I'm getting out of the funk that I have been in for a while now. Looking back on it, I really have no real reason why I was so down; I mean my job sucks, but that is about it. I have a great BF (more on that later), a kick ass apartment, and a pretty good network of family and friends.

First of all the big news: I am an AUNT!!! My S-I-L delivered a baby girl on 11/20/2007. It is scary to think that my bro and his wife are now responsible for another human life. That being said, she is the cutest baby out there, and she is already asserting her lungs in the nursery area. Love it.

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I finally decided on a backsplash for my kitchen. They are an orangey-brown natural stone tile and it looks really nice with the black granite countertop, and stainless steel appliances.

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I mentioned about a fight that Dirty and I had in the previous post, and I got a few emails about it. We are still together, and worked out the problem that we had. It is a heady thing; to be able to work out a problem with someone, and to trust them enough that the issues are resolved.

Basically, what sparked off the fight was that I was going through a big issue with my family and needed him to just listen and be supportive… show me some affection… that sort of thing. He decided for whatever reason to go and watch a soccer game with his friends. Needless to say, that really made me feel even crappier; and then I got a drunken phone call later in the night to come and pick him up from the bar they were in. I definitely lost my shit then. I called him selfish and left him to get a cab. Hence, World War III started.

We went back and forth for a little while; mostly him being angry that I didn’t come get him, and me being angry that he blew me off for his friends. He admitted that it was a fucked-up thing to do on his part, and I may have been a little over-dramatic about it.

The truth is that normally when he tries to be supportive, I usually push him away. I think because I have been single for such a long time, I am used to relying on myself for all of that stuff. You know, curled up in bed with my tissues. He told me that I have a wall up; and I realized that it is true. I don’t let him in, and want to figure everything out on my own. I never said I was perfect, and I know that I am a work in progress, and that is OK, and I know that he will be there for me, especially when I let him.

P.S.: What do you all think of the new layout? I'm trying something new...

So Over It

These past few weeks have been nothing short of a nightmare.

Other than being in a horrible fight with Dirty, which I will get into at another time, work has been hell. After Tall_Trees_ left, I thought that I would get a bit of reprieve, i.e. no work drama. Boy, was I super-duper wrong.

One of my staff decided to refuse a directive. At my agency, this is considered a terminable offense. BS, I know, but I have to toe the company line, being middle management and all. I went through all of the proper channels and she was put on suspension. I guess she deserved it, she did have a real stank attitude about the entire situation, she took further than it needed to go. I have never seen someone take so much pleasure in a disciplinary procedure than Sidekick. She really is an evil person. I always knew it, but to see it manifest like that is real scary.

I told Sidekick this week that she needs to learn to separate her personal feelings and issues from her professional life, when she got into it with another staff member and tried to begin disciplinary procedures. She was given the smackdown by our HR rep, who told her that this is the second time in 2 weeks that she has brought someone before Labor Relations and it makes her look really bad. She then tried to back talk some shit about how she just wanted to get his opinion on the situation. Blah, blah, blah. She is really crazy and I am now convinced that she was awarded the director's position because the powers that be want her to see her fail and leave. Sooner or later she will implode from all of the stress and hate she carries all the time.

On another note, it drives her even crazier that I am always calm and collected, making her get even crazier. Love it. I just have to keep it together until I get back from my vacation, when I will start looking for something else full force, instead of the half-assing I am doing now.

Busy as a Bee

Between having to clean my construction zone, preparing for S-I-L's baby shower and all the work drama, I have not had a chance to breath, let alone blog about it. So, without further ado, (in list form, of course), here is the stuff that has been going on in my world.

1. Kitchen finished. I cannot wait to have my first dinner party! Once I finish cleaning the entire apartment (dust travels fast and far), I want to have a big housewarming party and then corny theme parties like Tupperware, Party Lite, etc.

P.S.: Thank you for all of your love of my kitchen. Regarding the backsplash: My original thought was glass tiles (Stella!) in differing shades of blue or green. Needless to say, the pocketbook was not down with this suggestion. So I need to come up with an alternate solution. The kitchen gets so much light that I wanted to stay a little on the dark side.

2. Not only did TallTrees_ resign, but I had to fire one of my staff based on her time and attendance; which was none, and on her refusal to do one of her job tasks. Sucks, but she deserved it.

3. SIL is pregs and we had a baby shower for her. She was so ungrateful about the whole thing. My mother KNIT a blanket and the only thing she said was that it didn't match with the nursery decor. Listen, I am as big of a bitch as the next girl, but you don't say shit like that out loud, and especially about something that your MIL worked really hard on.

4. Dirty and I have been together for 8 months and it stills feels weird to me to have someone that I can completely be myself around. I am not used to someone other than myself indulging my every whim, and totally supporting everything that do. We do get into fights, serious ones, but I don't feel like I need to hold a grudge. We talk about it and it is over. No residual anger or passive aggressive behavior on my part which is a big thing for me. The best part about him though is that he encourages my 2 addictions; reading and food. He recently came home from a business trip to California with 2 cookbooks from Sonoma Wine Country. Love them and him.

So I am back in my apartment full time, cooking meals in my kitchen and trying to save money for my the next upcoming projects: the Bathroom and a three week trip to South America. Anybody want to donate to the Sloane is Poor fund? :)